Thursday, January 04, 2007

Hey Baby I Like Your Pants

Lookee here! Stinky took a picture of the stained Elvis hat my friend S. from Minneapolis gave her when we were visiting in August.

I've been trying to think about something to write about all night, and nothing's come to me. I was considering doing a post about movies I've seen lately, or I was going to do a memory post and share one of the many beautiful and special events I've experienced in my life, but it all seemed like way too much work and I'm super exhausted from all that time I spend putzing around and obsessing about stupid shit, instead of sleeping. For a minute, I thought I might not post at all tonight, but then I spotted a note Stinky had written me a few days ago and I figured that would be something easy I could slap up on here. Because my readers are all so important to me, I like to just slap shit on the page for you and then go straight to bed.



For those of you who can't read teen scribblings, it says:


Hey,


I went to the mall.* My room's clean. (I'll call you)

Coadster I borrowed a pair of your pants $2.00 is for you.

Love, Stinky

* Please don't ask me why she underlined "Hey", "went" and "mall". Was she originally going to underline every other word and then got bored? Or was emphasizing the fact that she went to the mall part of some kind of junior high code like LOL or WTF, that I can't understand because I don't text message my friends all the live long day? It's another pubescent mystery.

The weird thing about this note was not that she rented her sister's pants, but that Coadster was really pissed off about it. She thought she should have been asked. "You got two dollars," I told her. "That's way better than being asked permission." If somebody wanted to pay me money to borrow my jeans, I would be thrilled... Hey, does anyone feel like going in on a pants rental business with me?

20 comments:

Bice said...

Because my readers are all so important to me, I like to just slap shit on the page for you and then go straight to bed.

And that's what makes you so special to us. That extra caring touch this says, "Ah this'll do."

But you ended well and that's all that matters. As long as you end well you're golden.

Remiman said...

Churlita,
Pants rental? I Don't think I want to go there! ;-)
rel

The Retropolitan said...

I don't know why, but the underlined words make me laugh a lot.

Trevor said...

Certain members of my family started underlining words in greeting cards they meant to emphasize: love, special, etc. Last year I got a birthday card with nearly every word underlined and some words double-underlined. Clearly, this trend is unsustainable.

You may want to nip this in the bud, Churlita. And the pants-renting? I think that market's best left untapped.

Margaret said...

you need a buisness plan, how does one determine the rental value of a pair of pants?

booda baby said...

And that's what makes a horse race.

I expected to have to shove my way through the throngs clamoring to sign up to the pants rental plan. (Sorry, but - you have a throng, they've got to clamor).

It's a fabulous idea!

Churlita said...

Bice,

Oh, come on. Don't tell me that you haven't posted something and thought, "Ah, good enough". Besides, I thought my slipshod style was what you liked about me?

Rel,

I know, I know. I thought about all of the inappropriate things I could have added, but was too tired. If I had written this over the weekend when I had time to catch up on my sleep, it would have lost its PG-13 rating altogether.

Retropolitan,

Underlining everything is funny. It deemphasizes the emphasis. Just letting you know, that I can't comment on your site again. I think when I switched to Beta, I'm showing up as spam on all the non-Blogger sites. I have tried to though, really I have.

Trevor,

It's like when people use highlighters on everything. What's the point? Don't worry, I've scheduled an underlining intervention so Stinky can get the help she needs.

Margaret,

You're right. I think the rental price should go way up if someone was actually in the pants when they got rented out, though.

Booda Baby,

Yeah, no one's really biting. It's just as I expected. Maybe I need to put the pants rental business in a bigger city.

broinlaw said...

Put me down for 3 pairs of pants next time we are in town.

Is there some sort of discount rate like, rent 5 and we'll throw in a pair of sweat socks free of charge?

What is the going rate for socks?

t.

Churlita said...

Mmmmm, used sweat socks. I'm sure people would pay good money to rent those.

dolittle said...

I don't mind the underlining - it's the random quotation marks that baffle me. Like the Christmas cards I received that read "Love" Aunt Claudia and Uncle Pete. Love in quotes - what does that mean? They don't really love us? Or those envelopes that read "Amy and Jay". But we really ARE Amy and Jay - why are we in quotes???

Bice said...

Oh, come on. Don't tell me that you haven't posted something and thought, "Ah, good enough".

Touche! I only do that Monday - Friday... or when I'm commenting... anywhere! hahaha

Churlita said...

Doolittle,

That's really funny. It's almost like they're saying, "Amy and Jay"...If those are your real names...

Bice,

Ah, we're all just talking shit. The comment conversations are more like bar talk than anything, and that's why they're so much fun.

Stepping Over the Junk said...

As hilarious as my kids are at age 4 and 6, I cant imagine what is going to happen when they are teens. ACH! The jeans part is hilarious!

Churlita said...

The teen thing is weird too, because there isn't a lot of build-up to it. One minute they're playing with Legos and begging you not to go anywhere without them and the next, they're wearing make-up and talking about who got drunk at the football game. Ach! indeed.

Dana said...

Isn't "hey went mall" all you need to read in that note? ;)

Churlita said...

Dana,

You know you're right. Maybe the underlining was her minimalist version of that note. It was the meat of the message.

Bice said...

You do realize I did not call you "touchy" but saying Touche (which means you hit the mark) don't you?

Killer said...

My motto for a post I think is sub par is, "well, they can't all be winners." I say this a lot.

Will your rental pant company carry big and tall. i don't really need tall so much, as big.

Churlita said...

Bice,

Absolutley, I understood. I was just agreeing with you.

Killer,

Sure, we could do big and tall. My legs are too long to wear regular jeans anyway.

The Retropolitan said...

I'm still laughing at the underlined words.