Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Now Teacher Don't You Fill me Up With Your Rules

Well, stinky managed to land herself in a little bit of trouble over the weekend. I got an e-mail last Thursday from her reading teacher, letting me know that she was talking too much in class and already had a lunchtime detention because of it. Stinky had some problems at the beginning of the year, and at that time I told her just how long and in what ways she would be grounded if it happened again. I've learned with Stinky, that these things need to be stated clearly and consistently, or she'll never take me seriously. We talked about it right before her game when she called to ask me to bring some Gatorade for her, and she was not happy about her predicament.

Both of the girls have been told several times that Mama doesn't like getting hassled by the man. So, anytime a teacher or principal or band director or juvenile probation officer contacts me, they understand the punishment will be that much worse. Stinky's teacher wanted me to respond to her e-mail and so I told her that Stinky knew what the repercussions were for her lapse in judgement, she promised to straighten-up and to please write to me again, (notice how I didn't suggest she call me) if there were any further problems.

After her basketball game, Stinky went on and on about how awful her reading teacher was. So, I thought it would be fun to write the teacher a facetious e-mail (that I will never send, of course) based on information provided to me by Stinky. Here it is:

Dear Ms. Reading Teacher,

I know that nobody likes you because you're really mean and cranky and you yell at people for absolutely everything, but since you asked for a reply, I guess I have to write one.

First off, Stinky already told me that you wear old lady pantsuits and that just makes me feel sorry for you. According to the kids in junior high, you might be a little nicer, if you didn't look like such a scary toad encased in primary colored polyester. I'm just saying...

I've also heard that you pick on Stinky for no reason at all. She's just sitting quietly in your classroom, minding her own business, (even though all the other kids are talking to her) and you have the gall to yell at Stinky. I can't believe that you don't see her as an innocent victim amongst an entire classroom full of hooligans. Are you just jealous because she is so much smarter and more stylish than you? That's it, isn't it? Seriously, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Anyway, I suppose I'll have to talk to Stinky and tell her to try harder, (even though she didn't do anything in the first place) and maybe you could work on not taking everything out on her too, because none of this is at all her fault. 'Kay? 'Kay.

LYL,

Churlita

p.s. She also said your class is really dumb and boring.

19 comments:

Les Quinn said...

Love the pics....and the boots..

Remiman said...

Churlita,
And I'm sure Stinky approved of this response? ;-)
rel

Autumn said...

Loved the letter. It sounds like one I would have written when my children were growing up. Especially the part where EVERYONE else was talking to my child but they were being good. *smile*

fringes said...

I sent a note just like that to Little Man's PE tacher.

fringes said...

teacher. heh.

Churlita said...

Les Quinn,

Thanks. I love your latest beach photos too.

Rel,

Heh, heh. I wouldn't show her the fake one. She apologzied to me later about acting up in class. She said she had been trying really hard, and then just had a bad day.

Autumn,

Yeah.. I don't think she was the only one behaving - in fact, I can guarantee you she was the rowdy ringleader. That's just what she told me and so I wrote the facetious letter as a way to entertain myself.

Fringes,

What was up with that? Was his teacher being a jerk for real?

booda baby said...

Oh that was so funny! If she hadn't come around and confessed, don't you think that letter would have come in really handy?

It's so fun giving teenagers shit about their arguments that they're SO sure are so solid. It's fun only because they usually see the humor in it, too.

Churlita said...

Booda Baby,

That's one thing i can say about my daughters - they know when they're being full of shit. Of course, I know when they're full of shit usually before they come clean, but that's my job.

fringes said...

I think the teacher expects 5-year-old boys to behave themselves on a regular basis. We don't call mine the Tasmanian Devil for nothing. So she keeps sending home the notes and I keep signing them and sending them back. I don't even say "we'll try to do better" anymore. She tries to control him (and me with those stupid notes) and we might be rebelling against her a little.

Churlita said...

FRinges,

I had that problem with Stinky in kindergarten too. Some kids can stay within the boundaries and some kids can't. Ale's the kind of kid who jumps off a cliff and only worries that she's falling after it's too late.

Egan said...

Great idea. If this somehow got sent to Stinky's teacher, it would be hilarious to see her reaction.

If you ever need a new career, maybe you can draft up a few of these things for different teachers. People would pay good money for them.

Churlita said...

Egan,

I don't think I would want to be around to deal with the repercussions if this accidentally got sent to the teacher. I would have to deal with the man on so many different levels, it makes me shudder.

Margaret said...

poor stinky, victim of her own popularity!

Churlita said...

Margaret,

Oh my gawd! I know, right?

Mr Atrocity said...

This harrassment of innocent moody teenagers must, like, y'know, totally stop right now. It's like, totally, y'know, unfair.

Awww, in a way it's comforting to know that teeneagers everywhere are exactly the same. It's like a whole world community of sulk. Hormonal egalitarianism if you will...

Trevor said...

Oh, that is really funny. Great idea.

Churlita said...

Mr Atrocity,

I totally agree. Like, why can't thirteen year olds be allowed to do whatever they want? Oh yeah, because then all of our heads would be on sticks.

Trevor,

Thanks. Glad to hear from you. How's the little guy?

Trevor said...

As briefly as I can put it, the little guy is so awesome. Who knew newborns were so funny?

Churlita said...

Trevor,

And they keep getting funnier and funnier as they get older too. There's so much to look forward to.