Now Teacher Don't You Fill me Up With Your Rules

Well, stinky managed to land herself in a little bit of trouble over the weekend. I got an e-mail last Thursday from her reading teacher, letting me know that she was talking too much in class and already had a lunchtime detention because of it. Stinky had some problems at the beginning of the year, and at that time I told her just how long and in what ways she would be grounded if it happened again. I've learned with Stinky, that these things need to be stated clearly and consistently, or she'll never take me seriously. We talked about it right before her game when she called to ask me to bring some Gatorade for her, and she was not happy about her predicament.

Both of the girls have been told several times that Mama doesn't like getting hassled by the man. So, anytime a teacher or principal or band director or juvenile probation officer contacts me, they understand the punishment will be that much worse. Stinky's teacher wanted me to respond to her e-mail and so I told her that Stinky knew what the repercussions were for her lapse in judgement, she promised to straighten-up and to please write to me again, (notice how I didn't suggest she call me) if there were any further problems.

After her basketball game, Stinky went on and on about how awful her reading teacher was. So, I thought it would be fun to write the teacher a facetious e-mail (that I will never send, of course) based on information provided to me by Stinky. Here it is:

Dear Ms. Reading Teacher,

I know that nobody likes you because you're really mean and cranky and you yell at people for absolutely everything, but since you asked for a reply, I guess I have to write one.

First off, Stinky already told me that you wear old lady pantsuits and that just makes me feel sorry for you. According to the kids in junior high, you might be a little nicer, if you didn't look like such a scary toad encased in primary colored polyester. I'm just saying...

I've also heard that you pick on Stinky for no reason at all. She's just sitting quietly in your classroom, minding her own business, (even though all the other kids are talking to her) and you have the gall to yell at Stinky. I can't believe that you don't see her as an innocent victim amongst an entire classroom full of hooligans. Are you just jealous because she is so much smarter and more stylish than you? That's it, isn't it? Seriously, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Anyway, I suppose I'll have to talk to Stinky and tell her to try harder, (even though she didn't do anything in the first place) and maybe you could work on not taking everything out on her too, because none of this is at all her fault. 'Kay? 'Kay.

LYL,

Churlita

p.s. She also said your class is really dumb and boring.