Monday, January 29, 2007

Your Sister's Def

Today was my sister Moira's birthday. The pictures above and on my sidebar, are both of her when she was a kid. I also posted that one of us together that I already put on my old blog. Sorry if you've already seen it but it cracks me up. If her husband reads this, I did try to call her, but the line was busy. Don't you people have call waiting?

I've decided to make a list of interactions between my sister and I from birth - the present.

1. I was born and for the next several years, my sister worked at getting me to join my brother on the dark side to do her evil work. My brother was better at it and didn't spaz quite as much. Together, they drew all over my oldest sister's doll when she refused to take them with her, threw the Hi Hi Cherry-O game across the room, losing many of it's pieces and sang the "Tararaboomdeeyay" song with to me with changed words, because it has my name in it and for some reason, "Tararaboomdeeyay. There is no school today. Your teacher passed away. I shot her yesterday", made me cry and chase after them.

2. When my sister was in second grade, someone called her a buck-toothed beaver and she cried all the way home from school. Because, in my family, shit rolled down hill, she then turned on me. She called me Dracula or vampire or Barnabas Collins, since I have extremely pointy eye teeth.

3. For many years, when we fought and I actually got a punch or two in, she would fake cry and fall to the floor. Every single time I would feel awful and say I was sorry and then she'd jump up and laugh at me for being such a big dumb sucker.

4. In junior high, Moira went over the make-out bases with me, so I wouldn't seem like such an idiot around my friends. Unfortunately, to this day, I still get confused about the difference between second and third base. Is second frenching and third getting felt-up? Or is second getting felt-up and third something more intense?

5, In high school my sister was my savior. I lived with my evil Aunt and Uncle, and Moira moved out during her senior year - the second she turned eighteen. She let me borrow clothes to wear to school because I only had one pair of gray, brushed cords, Levi's Movin'-On Jeans, and some track team related t-shirts. She was also the only one in my family to attend my cross-country or track meets. Best of all, I would tell my aunt I was going somewhere else, and then I'd sneak over to her rockin' college apartment after track practice and watch WKRP in Cincinnati with her and her friends.

6. When I was eighteen, my sister waited until right after she had her wisdom teeth pulled so her cheeks would be almost as chubby as mine, and got a fake ID made for me.

7. She drove me and my ex-husband from Phoenix to Iowa when we finally fled L.A. in 1988.

8. When Stinky had meningitis and was in the hospital for over a week, Moira came up on the weekend to give Coadster some attention. She took her ice skating, which Coadster really wanted to do, but then quickly realized that it didn't mesh with her overly-cautious sensibilities and she also bought her the movie Mulan.

9. She lent me money to cover the cabins the girls and I rented when we went to South Dakota for my fortieth birthday. I had to wait to pay her back until I got my check the next month, and even then, she wouldn't let me give her all that I had borrowed.

10. Just last week, she and her husband came to take me and the girls out to lunch because I was flat busted broke until February first. She then lent me more money to make sure I'd be okay with groceries and gas. This was even after I harrassed her three and half year old son during the entire meal.

I know nobody's keeping track or anything, but I do believe I'm extremely indebted to a certain buck-toothed beaver.

Here we are in 1970. Apparently, it was the style back then to wear dresses so short, they came dangerously close to exposing your girl parts.


Egan said...

This is such a sweet post. I can feel your love for your sister in every point. Siblings are fantastic if you ask me.

Happy birthday Moira. This is post shows what family is all about, love and understanding. Great job.

michelle said...

It's true, dresses were that short then and I have photos of me and my sisters in outfits that are almost identical to yours.

Sisters are special kinds of treasures. For all the times we hate them there's twice as many times that we love them.

Killer said...

My sister rocks, but I am embarassed to show the pictures I have of us wearing matching short dresses. My boy parts did show.

Matt said...

You're lucky to have your own personal jesus as your sister.

With my family it's siblings by birth, friends by Xanax.

Lynnster said...

This is such a wonderful, wonderful and loving tribute to your sister. AND hilarious. I loved this. Thank you for sharing her with us, and happy birthday to Moira!

And yep, I had so many dresses like that it wasn't even funny. Even worse, I had a lot of matching hats, too.

Churlita said...


Are you being facetious? I'm never sure with you. I feel very lucky to have the siblings I do. We've been through a lot together. I'm not saying we don't all drive each other insane, but when it comes down to the down, they're awesome.


Exactly - on both counts. I feel the same way about short dresses and sisters. Just kidding. I do feel that way about sisters though.


Did you at least get to wear the cool mini-dress with go-go boots, or were you the loser like me, who got stuck wearing gingham and Mary Janes?


I'm much closer with this sister, than I am with my oldest one. That relationship requires more Xanax, probably for both of us.


Thanks. At least the hats covered something.

broinlaw said...

Dear Churly,
We DO have call waiting and caller I.D.

We use them...


Egan said...

This time I was being serious. You're right though, it's tough to tell when I'm joking or not. Having six siblings, I know all too well how important a relationship between siblings can be.

Brando said...

Totally laughed at #3 about the fake punching. My sister (younger) used that move to get my brothers and I in trouble.

booda baby said...

It took me forEVER to write this (because I MEANT to write it about four posts of yours ago) but after I read your posts, a part of my brain starts trying to figure out what makes them so ... (yah, but I mean it) magical.

I think it's how well you're tuned into the rhythms of honesty. Anyone can be honest (see: the rest of the blogosphere), but you really have a talent for - well, for instance, dialogue and moments from history and okay, now I'm tired, but I meant it. Please pretend I said it better.

TLB said...

Awesome post. I especially love how your sister, being put-upon at school, turned her anger on you.

That is SO much like my sisters and me. Of course, I was older and nerdier than both my sisters, so I had more to vent.

fringes said...

Awesome post. I should do one about me and my sister. But I'm the older one. So she should be writing glowing tributes about me. That's the law.

Your post made me cry a little. Sniffles.

Churlita said...


Deep down inside, that's what I suspected, but I prefer to remain delusional. As well you know.


My relationship with my siblings is the stongest but most annoying/complicated in my life.


Since I was the youngest, I was the one getting my sister in trouble, but my tears were always real.

Booda Baby,

Thank you. You are always so kind. If only you had a hot, single brother who lived in Iowa City. I think that honesty must be coming from a place of exhaustion since most of my posts are written late at night when my brain filter is already turned off.


Thanks. You and your sisters sound pretty tight too. Which is probably another reason you have so much to vent. I think the families who are more distant, have less to gripe about one another.

Churlita said...


Does your sister have a blog? Maybe she could get one and write you a glowing tribute on your birthday. Did you teach her about the make-out bases? If so, then she definitely owes you.

Erica said...

My sister does not have a blog. I'm the only person in my entire family who has one. I've always been the outsider, they are all so establishment.

I'll make her write the tribute on my blog. Big sisters are bossy like that.

Erica said...

Stupid blogger. It's signing me in under my real name. I don't feel like signing out then back in again. Erica is Fringes. The comment stands.

Churlita said...


I know my big sister's bossy like that. Sometimes blogger puts my real name on my comments and it makes me feel so naked.

Egan said...

You say "naked" like it's a bad thing Churlita.

Remiman said...

Those are awesome memories. My brother is 10 years younger than me and my sister was born on my 12th birthday. Too many years between us to have had thos childhood interactions. Were close today but I don't think it's quite the same as what you describe.

In my day "something more intense" was considered a homerun!

Churlita said...


He, he. You're dirty.


My sister, my brother and I are all a little over a year apart in age. (Catholics, what're ya gonna do?)I think that's partly why we're so close and why we all drive each other so crazy.