Here is a little old bug in a very large parking lot.
I've got two things tonight. Let's see how mercifully short I can make this.
2.) Remember when I told you about how my friend K. tried to pick-up a guy for me on Friday night, but wasn't very successful? Okay, so then this morning, I'm walking to work when I get a text from her that says something like, "OMG. I think the failed pick-up guy is in the paper today."
When I finally get a chance to check, I see that not only is it the same guy, but he is a teacher at my daughters' school and worked on a movie with my ex-husband. Awesome. I was laughing at lunch with a co-worker about how annoying this town can be that way, and she said, "Well, if he's one of your daughter's teachers, I bet student teacher conferences could be pretty interesting."
"Yeah, " I said. "I'd walk in the door and he'd say, 'I was going to talk to you about some of the problems I've been having with your daughter, but now that I see who her mother is, I think she's doing surprisingly well under the circumstances.'"
My co-worker then tried to get all silver lining on me and responded, "At least your life is funny..."
"Yes, and if it gets any funnier, I may have to develop a drug habit."
2.) On Friday night, I was getting ready to go to the store to pick-up a few things and I asked Coadster if she wanted a treat while she watched her movie. She told me she did and in this really hokey, down-on-the-farm kind of voice told me she would like "some kettle poppin' corn." Something about her saying it that way, instead of calling it popcorn, made me a little crazy. I did that thing I do when I get grossed-out where I scratch my head with both hands to try to reach my brain.
"What was that for?" Coadster asked.
"I don't know. For some reason, you saying 'poppin' corn' just really bugged me. Aren't there any things that people say that make you irrationally crazy at all?"
"When Stinky says, 'for cereal' instead of 'for serious'? That kind of thing? Yeah, that drives me crazy," Coadster said.
"See? It's like the word 'moist' too. That's another one."
Stinky was listening in and said, "Moist? That drives you crazy? Really?" Then, of course, it was made very clear to me exactly why I should never have reavealed one of my weaknesses to my two teenaged daughters, "So, Coadster. What did you want from the store again?'
"You know, just some poppin' corn... Actually, I'd really love some moist poppin' corn..." Coadster answered.
"Seriously, you guys have to stop."
"What? Coadster just said she wanted some moist poppin' corn. What's wrong with that? In fact, I think I might want some moist poppin' corn too. Mmmmm, moooiiist..."
Now, what was I saying earlier in this post about developing a drug habit?