Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Weary Memory I Can Always See

So, do I look like someone's psycho ex-girlfriend? Wait. Don't answer that.

Okay, I know I've written a lot about my first boyfriend on here. It's not like I'm not over him or still pining or anything. It's more that he's probably the only healthy'ish relationship I've ever been in and most of my other relationships have been way more depressing to write about. I'm definitely not saying he was perfect, but he was a really good guy, and he put up with all my bullshit (and there was a lot) and even when he was grouchy, he didn't try to tear me down or take it out on me, and those are huge things. Mostly, we went through a lot of crap together from the time we were 19 until we broke-up at 22. Having said that, I would love to know what happened to him and my two best women friends from that time.

Before I went to California, I tried to google all of them, but to no avail. Many of my kind readers suggested I check Facebook, but since I didn't have one at the time, I didn't really get how it worked. Once I did figure it out, I tried, and still didn't find any of the three. I did, however, find Neal's brother on Facebook. Of course, it was the brother I never met while we were dating. He was going to college on the East Coast and our paths never crossed.

I thought about sending him a message, but it felt weird. What would I say? What if Neal thought of me as his psycho ex-girlfriend? Or what if he was married or in a relationship? I certainly wouldn't want anyone in his family to think I was stirring up shit. I hope he is happy in a healthy relationship. So, I left it.

Then, when I was going through some old photos recently, I found a few of Neal's childhood and high school pics that had gotten mixed in with mine. If it were me, I would want those back. It was also the perfect way to contact Neal's brother, hopefully without sounding like a scary stalker lady.

So, last night right before I went to bed, I sent him this:


We've never met, but I used to date your brother Neal for a couple of years in the mid-eighties.

After we lost contact, I discovered I had a few of his high school and childhood photos mixed in with mine.

If you think he'd like them, feel free to send me a post office box or address and I'd be happy to send them back his way.



And when I got to work this morning, I found this in my inbox:

Thanks Churlita. Neal will be very pleased to hear from you. I'll forward his mailing address soon. I hope all is well w/ you -Neal's brother.

Which I thought was really nice. Who knows if I'll ever hear any more. I'm sure his brother will have to talk to him to see if he thinks of me as his psycho ex or not and wants to give me an address or contact me. I guess we'll see and I'll definitely let you know if I hear from him. Whatever happens, I hope he's happy doing whatever it is he wants to do. It's what I want for all of my best friends - past and present.


Les said...

Sounds interesting.....
Meeting up with friends from the past is fun.....arrive early and hide in the bushes with binoculars is my advice.
ps. I havent been around blogging much lately so obviously things didnt work out with the guy from the other state.....yous looked good together.

Mr Atrocity said...

Sometimes the internet is a wonderful thing. It lets you meet people you never would have done otherwise and reacquaint yourself with people you've lost contact with over the years. The human side of technology is a delight.

Remiman said...

I'm glad you found a subject to allow you to contact Neal's bro. I like to catch up on long lost friends also. Have done just that with two old buddies just recently. Girl-friends, I admit would be a little harder to make an effort for.
Thanks for the great Thanksgiving photo.
I wish you and your girls a great day.

Mrs. Hairy Woman said...

That is so cool.. it was nice of Neal's brother to respond.. Maybe you will hear from him after alala these years and then you will know if he is happy and healthy..

-RM said...

Thank you for reading my blog. I hope you have a great Thanksgiving.

movin' down the road said...

wow, that's pretty cool!!!

Poptart said...

This is exciting! I am so glad you did that!

Minyo said...

I'm a firm believer that Face Book is a cool tool for reconnecting lost connections :) Good luck with wherever this connection takes you.

Happy Turkey Day!!!

laura b. said...

Well, next thing, you'll have to let us know just what this Neal is up to these days! Because I have a feeling you're going to know pretty soon.

NoRegrets said...

OK, now I understand.

.j.william. said...

Someone recently wrote that blogging is lame in comparison to fictional writing because it has no story arc: no question and resolution.

Then there's your long-running Neal arc, which I think a lot of us readers are interested in seeing through, even if it turns into a no-reply.