Thursday, May 24, 2007

I Fall Down, I'm Falling Down

Here is a photo of some farm machinery.

I am dangerously close to a three and half day weekend. I only have to get through four measly hours of work, before I experience sweet, sweet freedom. The weird thing about it, is that the girls will probably be busy almost every weekend night too. So, I won't just have time away from work, I could really do whatever I wanted. I haven't had this kind of regular free time since I was twenty-six years old. Even though you couldn't tell from the last couple of weeks' posts, I'm not really big on going out. I could never be one of those mid-life crises women who turns forty, gets an ass-hat tattoo and a pierced belly button, paints themselves orange with quick tan, tries to dress like a twenty year old, and starts going out to clubs every weekend night. Believe me, I couldn't pull it off when I was twenty, it would be especially pathetic now. Oh, what the hell, let me just illustrate exactly what I'm talking about:

Tonight after dropping the girls off at their individual events, I called my friend K. to talk about what I was going to do in the garden while she was gone for the weekend. She was at The Dublin Underground with some friends, so instead of rudely chatting on the phone, I stopped down for an hour to drink a delicious Royal Crown Cola. I've had kind of a mellow but persistent migraine for some reason the last few days, and so I wasn't about to drink any alcohol.

I joined K. and her friends and was briefed not to refer to our one friend's new love interest as her "boyfriend", seein's how their relationship was a little new for that. At one point, the guy sitting next to me, who I had only met briefly once before, got up to go to the bathroom. I tried to stand-up to let him out, but my sandals hooked together. In my defense, I had that migraine and they make me even more spacey and less coordinated than normal. I worked really hard at righting myself, but all it did was make me fall in slow motion, so it took me about an hour and a half to tumble out of the booth and hit my knee so hard on the floor, that all the men sitting at the bar turned around to see me eat the dirty, bar carpet.

My friend K. was laughing so hard, she was crying and had to wait to calm down before she went up to get another drink. When she could breathe again, she said, "Churlita, I love you."

To which, I answered, "You're just saying that, because I make you look so good in comparison."

17 comments:

mist1 said...

Sometimes, your pictures bring me back to my childhood. Sometimes, I miss the Midwest.

Churlita said...

Mist1,

It's so pretty in the Summer, when you don't have to experience the bugs and the smells and the humidity in person.

Remiman said...

Churlita,
I love your friend K. "cause she knows you're priceless too. ;-)
I was sure you'd have a buttcap tattoo.
Have a great weekend!

rel

Neil said...

Enjoy your weekend of freedom...

Dagromm said...

Are ass-hats and a buttcaps like tramp stamps?

jenny said...

love this story! but "dirty bar carpet" was all too real an image for me. i say bathe in lysol tonight...

notfainthearted said...

Yes, the hooked sandel routine. I've done it often myself. Doesn't it feel good to offer comic relief to people?

Have a great weekend and don't work in the yard too hard.

Margaret said...

can't wait to hear the weekend wrap-up!

booda baby said...

If you're going to land like that, the Dublin's a good place to do it. It's true, I like to keep my variety of mis- and bad behavior in their proper settings, but sometimes I forget.

Poptart said...

Yea — fun weekend ahead for you, it sounds like. If it starts with falling on your face in a basement bar without alcohol involved, it'll be a great one for sure.

Have fun in the garden!

fringes said...

At least it was a slo-mo tumble. Everything looks good in slo-mo.

Mr Atrocity said...

I like the German term for tramp stamps which is Arschgeweihe or "arse antlers". Seriously though, it's nice to see that it looks like you're about to have a few days of total you-time. Having had some long yearned for, well earned holiday I can tell you that it's going to feel sooo good.

Babybull40 said...

Yes I can picture that happening.. What did the guy do? Did he offer to help you up at least..I also love that picture of the farm equipment.. Brings back memories of growing up at our farm..

evil-e said...

You sound like a dangerous person to go out with. You always have a great going out tale. I look forward to some more. Enjoy the time.

Churlita said...

Rel,

I love my friend K. too.

Neil,

Thanks. I will.

Dagromm,

Exactly like a tramp stamp.

Jenny,

I bathed as soon as I got home.

Not Faint Hearted,

All I ever do is offer comic relief to people.

Margaret,

I can wait, because that will mean it's Monday night. Wah.

Booda Baby,

You're right. Better there than a wine bar.

Poptart,

Or it could be really, really bad.

Fringes,

It also takes longer so everyone got a chance to drink it in.

Mr Atrocity,

Arse antlers is the best term I've heard.

Babybull40,

I think he was more worried that people would think he caused it.

Evil-E,

I'm usually only dangerous to myself.

Lynnster said...

Oh god. That would have SO been me falling to the carpet like that too. We are sisters in Klutz City, my friend.

Churlita said...

Lynnster,

We should totally hang-out then.