Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Oh Well, Whatever, Nevermind

Here lies Freddy Funk. I love his name. That is all.

I've been doing this weird thing lately. In my head I've been using the same catch phrase in answer to everything I experience. As far as I know, I've never said it aloud, but I'm kind of Turretsy that way where I'll be thinking something, and all the sudden I find myself voicing it outloud. It's not like I yell, "Cocksucker!" or anything. (but don't think I haven't been tempted) It's more like I'll be thinking about what I need from the store as I'm walking to work, and I just spew out, "Oh, toilet paper."

The catch phrase I've hopefully just been saying in my head is, "Whatever, bitch." It is not reserved for women, either. Lately, the whole world is my bitch and judging by the "Whatever" that preceeds it, I have total diregard for every single one of its inhabitants or inanimate objects, for that matter. If an old man pulls out right in front of me when I'm driving and then crawls along very slowly, he gets a "Whatever bitch". If my computer starts getting really slow and kicking me out of the system, my brain sends out the "Whatever, bitch" signals too. If I heard anyone say that appropriate but none the less annoying catch phrase as often as I think it, I would have to give them the "Whatever, bitch" vibe too.

Now that I've recognized my latest affliction, I'm trying to work really hard on curbing it. I don't want to finally let it fly for real, at an innocent seven year old girl who accidentally walks into me at the library.

17 comments:

Killer said...

An innocent seven year old, my ass. That bitch has it coming.

Margaret said...

as long as it applies to men, women, and children: whatever bitch!

Dexter said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dexter said...

Let me try this again...

I was curious about the photo and tried to find out more information about PFC Funk. I found nothing that mentioned him by name but I found a WW II unit history and it looked like his was killed in action in France shortly before the Battle of the Bulge.

"...On the 1st of December, with the support of two squadrons of fighter planes, the Regiment jumped off and "I" Company reached the outskirts of Sarre Union...By the 3rd of December, but only after fierce fighting in the streets and outskirts of the town, Sarre Union fell to the 101st Infantry."

His unit History is here:
http://yd-info.net/index.html

booda baby said...

It can't be good that this post made me happy. (Can it?) I think it's a better version of 'it's all good.'

Rachel said...

The song "We Want The Funk, Gotta Have That Funk" ran through my mind. I don't think that I want that kind of Funk though.
I tend to start singing song lyrics during random conversations. I can find a song that goes with just about any kind of conversation.

Churlita said...

Killer,

I hear you. I have first hand knowledge that 7 year old girls are inherently evil.

Margaret,

It actually applies mostly to my computer and my car. Stupid inanimate objects.

Dex,

That's cool that you found all that out. I was a little curious about his death during WW II.

Booda BAby,

My posts probably help people feel better about themselves in comparison. It might be "It's all good" with a lot of edge.

Rachel,

That picture had me singing "Freddie's Dead". I too sing songs during every conversation. My friends keep reminding me of how annoying it is, but I can't stop.

broinlaw said...

Hmmm.
WW II. Wow!
I had always heard that....
Rap killed Funk.

T

EEK said...

It's like 'serenity now!' from Seinfeld (remember George Castanza's dad would scream it in order to help calm himself). I love that episode.

Remiman said...

Churlita,
You know I'm a sucker for cemeterys.

However, that stone could put one in a funk. Sorry, i know, it was pathetic. ;-) (don't smile)

When I was in NYC for nursing school (and, oh yes I've had to and do ask all those "personnal questions) we had an OR clinical instructor tell us about a game she played on the subway ride home. In her mind she'd read the ads on the subway cars and finish everyline with"under the sheets"

Just for yuks, try adding that phrase at the end of each of your comments today, under the sheets.
rel

fringes said...

I was all set to comment on whatever bitch, but then dexter's comment made mine look dumb. I'm leaving now.

Churlita said...

Bro-in-law,

Ha ha. That was good.

Eek,

I loved that episode. I think my comment would be the opposite of serenity now!

Rel,

That's funny. I'll try, but it might be a little too much for me at work.

Fringes,

Dex is good that way. I don't think it's possible to out-read or out-knowledge him. he makes me look bad.

Dexter said...

I didn't intend on being Cpt. Bringdown I was just traying to avoid real work first thing this morning. "Oh, Well..."

Churlita said...

Dex,

I don't think anyone thought you were captain bringdown, I think it was more that you knew some cool stuff that was hard to top. It was all meant as a compliment in that Wayne's World, "we're not worthy" way.

I love you in the face said...

That is awkward. I've been mildly obsessed with the similar, "Smell it, bitch!" I saw this line delivered on tv in an adorable singsong voice and now it plays in my head constantly. There's rarely a reason to actually say "Smell it, bitch" but I find myself waiting for one to crop up. I'm afraid, like you, that I'll use it on the innocent. Some unsuspecting Grandmother at Whole Foods will pick up a melon and I'll singsong "Smell it, bitch!"

Churlita said...

ILYITF,

If that thing with the old woman at Whole Foods ever really happens, could you do me a favor and docutment it for me? It would make me so happy, if you did.

Candice McLaughlin said...

this is my grammpa Freddy funk if en one could help me find pics of hem or en that that could tell me more about him plz help me and my mom she would be so happy to see or read about him if so plz email me at thewelshs@mail.com and thanks