Saturday, February 10, 2007

I Have Done All That I Could, To See The Evil and The Good Without Hiding

Here is a picture of a tree on the Pentacrest. I think it might be dying, which would make me sad because it's a great climbing tree. I like walking past it in the summer and seeing little monkey children hidden in its foliage.

So, I got off work at four to go to my dentist appointment yesterday. My dentist's office is quite quaint. It's in an old house and inside, it's all hardwood floors and lace curtains and they pipe in mellow, adult contemprorary, Sting-Dave Matthews kinds of music while they're diligently drilling your teeth. I have to say, though, that one of the dental hygenists is a little odd. I wrote about her last year on my old blog here.

Yesterday, while she was scraping nasty stuff off of my teeth, she said, "This is what your tarter looks like." And she held an instrument with a tan colored chunk on it right in my face.

"Ew," I said. I don't know how else I was supposed to respond. Has anyone else been to a hygenist who made them look at the crap she scraped off of their teeth? I guess I would like to be asked first, so I could politely decline.

Before you start thinking I'm not "Our Bodies, Ourselves" enough for you, I used to go to Emma Goldman clinic for my annual appointments when I was younger and didn't have insurance or a regular doctor. I've been asked and have agreed to take a peek at my cervix. Since, as far as I can tell, it hasn't changed any since I was nineteen, I don't really need to see it again. I worked in an ob/gyn clinic long enough to see more inner-parts and bodily secretions to last me a lifetime. So, I've decided to contact any dental or healthcare facility at which I may be seen, and ask them to kindly put something in my chart that says I decline any offers to view anything - including any earwax, kidney stones, or cyst fluid that they may extract from me. There. I think that should cover it.


fringes said...

Even if you sign a copy of the declaration of independence and put it in your chart, the assistants will show you your gunk anyway. It's a compulsion.

Churlita said...


You're probably right. I thought about that with the dental hygenist. It must be kind of satisfying picking shit off or people's teeth and I would probably be compelled to show someone too.

I do think I want a copy of the declaration of independence in my chart, though.

Killer said...

I'm keeping all the tartar from my teeth in a jar. When I get enough, I will sell it to an Asian herbalist as a sexual enhancement drug.
That can't be any worse than Rhino testicles.

Churlita said...


When people come to visit you and ask what's in the jar, do you tell them the truth, or do you lie and say it's full of tiny crack rocks?

Dante said...

I once had a dental hygienist who related the entire history of tooth care while she was cleaning my teeth. She even had stats on how sugar consumption has risen annually since 1899 (or some such date). She also related how the proper amount of time to brush one's teeth has evolved through time. (If you're curious, the latest studies indicate two minutes of gentle brushing to be sufficient).

I was completely flabbergasted that she took her job so seriously. Unfortunately, it was also quite droll, and sort of annoying. In the end, I wish she would have just shoved the tarter in my face and left it at that.

I vowed to eat much more sugar after the visit.

Margaret said...

yeah, um, debbie downer here, but I don't think I'll ever get over being shown a jar containing the former contents of my womb.. sorry too much information, but why did the doctor want to show me that?

Churlita said...


I'm so sorry for you. I think you're right. I would probably rather have the quick shock of viewing my teeth crud, than to have to listen to the endless prattle of the dental hygenist.


Nuh-uh. He did not. What is wrong with him? I hope you never went back to him again.

Ondine said...

Why do you think it's dying...
it's a deciduous conifer and drops all it's needles every year.

Churlita said...


Maybe it just happened sooner this year. It was sometime in August this year, and it usually happens more in October. Plus, the facilities maintenance people were talking about cutting down some diseased trees on the Pentacrest, and that was one of the rumored trees. It could be just that - a rumor, though.

Angel Feathers Tickle Me said...

I suggest you go to an LVI Dentist.

Churlita said...

Angel Feathers Tickle Me,

What's an LVI dentist?

broinlaw said...

Forget your teeth....what about that tree! Is that a cypress?

Inquiring arborialists want to know.


Churlita said...

Bro In-law,

I don't know. I bet you could look it up with facilities management at a certain university.