Monday, October 26, 2009

Lady Be Good, Do What You Should, You Know It'll Be Alright

Here is a green goblin from the Halloween barn pics I took last year. I hope you like them, because you'll be seeing a lot of them this week.

I still don't have a lot of time to write, but I figured I'd at least keep my foot in it by pondering how I want to fix my old stuff. I'm going to put another excerpt from the horse and buggy accident story I showed you earlier. I'm still trying to figure out if I want to keep it in first person or not. I once had a writing exercise where we were supposed to write about something that we were either really embarrassed or ashamed about and try to be as honest about it as possible. This portion of the story would probably qualify for both. I had a concussion and I was trying to make sense of what happened to my baby. I'll just warn you, this won't be pretty.

Heather is the girl who's parents owned the acreage where the accident took place. At the time I wrote this, I was working in the business office of the hospital. I saw everything from the back end - after people already dealt with the physical and emotional pain, they then had to pay the financial price. It was another heartbreaking job for me and I wanted to incorporate that into the story too. Here is the first part and the second part will follow tomorrow:

At the hospital I am difficult. They want me to pee in a bedpan. I can't. There is a big open sore on my foot so I'm not able to walk to the bathroom. They tell me if I don't go soon, they will have to use a catheter. I was cathed when I was in labor with Coadster and I know I don't want that again.

"Where is my baby?" I'm together enough to know that I have one now, but no one will tell me where she is.

"She's with her father. She's okay," A big matter-of-fact nurse says. "You just concentrate on going tinkle."

"Coadster is fine but you really have to go in the bedpan." Heather is standing beside my bed in the emergency room. The fact that she's seeing me like this makes me hysterical.

" I can't. I just can't, okay?"

"Then we'll just have to cath you, ma'am," the nurse says. She says the word "ma'am" with the same emphasis I use when talking to pain in the ass patients - like it's another word for bitch.

Okay, I'll end here. This post is already WAY too long. I'll finish it tomorrow.


Ananda girl said...

Interesting to watch the way you are working through this process and to get bits of your life too.

Remiman said...

Well told lady!
Too often we forget empathy and the Golden Rule. Those who do are remembered fondly forever.

Tara said...

I cringe when I hear the word catheter. I remember getting one when I was really little and I can still remember the discomfort.

Pamela said...

Oh dear. My biggest question is whether you were cathed... I had that once. what fun.

laura b. said...

That is too much pressure...having to pee on command. And into a bedpan! I look forward to the rest of this.

Churlita said...


Thanks. I guess we all do that a little when we blog.


It is tricky in tougher emotional situations. We're all human and can't always remember that rule.


I know. I used to cath people as part of my job, and it still makes me cringe.


With the concussion and the memory loss, I don't really know. I think I might have been.


And being out of my mind and feeling guilty for hurting my baby? Way too much pressure.