Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Jesus Loves You More Than You Will Know

One of Stinky's last self-portraits of 2008. Don't worry. I'm sure she's already taken a few of herself this year.

Kids, I'm cutting the excuses and just letting you know I'm feeling random. As always, enter at you own risk:

Sadly, my favorite form of embarrassment for the girls no longer works. In fact, now all of their friends think it's cool, so it totally backfired. I'm talking about the dorky dancing I used to do in front of the girls' friends. A couple of weeks ago, Stinky was having some girls spend the night and I did my usual frightening dance moves and all the girls instantly took their phones out and started recording. I stopped as soon as I realized, but not before one of them got enough footage and then texted me the video later that week when I was at work. Damn it! Now, I'm going to have to think of something else. Anyone got any ideas, or things that have worked well for you in the past?

Here is an abandoned snow blower in front of the Chabad house.

I was at work today and noticed someone's first name was Topeka. I wondered if that's where she was born or conceived. It made me think of the kid at my daughter's school who was named after the shrooms her parents were doing when he was conceived and wondered what would happen if all children were named in relation to their conception. Do you suppose names like Promnight, Icestorm and Newyearseve, would be as common as Ashley, Brittney and Madison are now?

Here is part of a building on the Pentacrest.

Tonight the girls and I went to the rec building to run after I got off work. It's that time of year again. That time when all the hormone fueled high school track striver boys go to the rec building to get in shape for the Spring season and to also talk tons and tons of shit, apparently. I'm sure the big reason they do it, is because they know it grosses my daughters out so badly.

When I finished my run, I walked over to the bleachers to get my sweats on and Stinky came up to me and asked, "So, do you want to know what Alex and James just said about you while you were running?"

"No, actually. I'd rather not have to hear it."

"Well, too bad. I'm gonna tell you anyway. First, Alex was all, 'Oh, if I knew your mom was running inside, I would have been coming here more often. You should give her my number.' Then I said, 'Ew! Gross! I'm not giving her your number. She is FORTY-three years old.' And James was like, 'I don't care. She's hot. If you won't give her my number, I'll give it to her myself. I wanna take her out on a date to the Olive Garden.'"

"Yeah. I knew I wouldn't want to hear it. How about you tell those boys, thanks but no thanks. None of them are worth going to jail for." I'm thinking it might be easier just to risk the icy sidewalks outside from now on.


Poptart said...

OK, I love that the girls go with you to the rec center for running, and I REALLLLLLY want to see the video of the dance moves. Wouldn't it be pretty easy to upload to this here blog? Come on, Churlita!

Nate said...

Interesting idea about naming kids.

Of course that would make my name "DamnThingBroke"

Remiman said...

What are you saying; you're not a cougar? :-)

Leo said...

Well, you can still embarrass your kids by having that safe sex talk with your kids while their friends are there. Include them into the conversation, and be fairly graphic without being gross. That'll get 'em.

Either that or wear dorky clothes when you go out with them.

Mr Atrocity said...

Boys are just horrid aren't they? And mostly not worth going to jail for.

NoRegrets said...

My ex and I used to joke about naming our kids after where they were conceived. Luckily we didn't have kids since we'd be in some interesting places - Whistler, Alta (which isn't so bad), etc.

Are you SURE some of them aren't worth going to jail for?

Susan said...

You should have told them if they'd said The Red Lobster you would have been in but The Olive Garden is so 1999.

Tara said...

Your video will show up on YouTube now and it'll then wind up on the E! channel as the most viewed video. A new dance will come out called The Funky Churlita. That's how it works, see what you've done?

I'm trying to think of things I've done that have embarrassed my nephews...Let's see..singing out loud to the radio perhaps.

booda baby said...

That's cute. Boys become men when they get that dinner at the Olive Garden is dinner at the Olive Garden, not a date.

There's nothing hard about running at the rec center. It's having your daughters relay all the talk - THAT's hard. :)

DJSassafrass said...

BUT are they worth a fre Olive Garden dinner? Seriously...think it over. We are in a recession.

laura b. said...

Think of the whole little boys telling your girls they want to get witchoo awfulness as a service to your daughters. Like, there are two boys right there that they are GUARANTEED never to even be tempted to date!

Tara said...

Oh and you are the new tagged one for this Saturday's Scavenger Shots. We think Cricket might not be into it at the moment. So..tag! You're it!

NoRegrets said...

Susan - LOL! Oh my, I needed that.

And DJ, see, there you go too.

Churlita said...


Yeah. Keep wishing. No one needs to watch a video of me dancing to Baby Got Back. No one.


Ha ha. You could hang out with IThoughtYouSaidYouWereOnThePill and DidntPullOutInTime.


I'm so not a cougar. Unfortunately, I live in a town where the median age is 23.


Great suggestions. There's always the old stand-by - pick them up from school in a bathrobe and curlers.

Mr Atrocity,



I'm sure. Imagine the sparkling conversations we could have. Shudder.


The Funky Churlita. I love it.

Booda Baby,

I thought that was funny too. Like the nicest restaurant they could think of was Olive Garden. Awesome.


That's so funny. Where are you when I need you?


It's true. A free meal is a free meal.


You're right. I guess it's all in how you look at things.


I'm on it.

Anonymous said...

That abandoned snow blower in front of Chabad house was ours. I gave it away free on Craigs list.


Churlita said...

Hi, Eggo!

It wasn't really abandoned. It just looked like it in the photo. The guy was across the street helping someone get their car unstuck.

another good thing said...

AWW. how could you not be flattered??

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