Monday, October 27, 2008

Then You Say, Go Slow - I Fall Behind

Tonight is going to be self-esteem night for all y'all. That's right. With the help of Nursula's (I use internet names for folks if I have them) photos, you get to see a bunch of pics of me dancing. All you have to do is view them and you'll feel a hundred million times better about yourself and your own funky fresh moves. The other part is that I'm random again today, so not only will you feel superior about how you dance, you'll feel like you have the longest attention span ever after you finish this post.

I had a couple of conversations about dancing this weekend. The first one happened when I was walking from The Dublin to The Picador and we walked past The Sports Column where people were either drunkenly lurching about or drunkenly grinding into each other. My friend Carrie pointed and laughed and I asked the people I was with to shoot me if I ever danced like that. Then I'm presented with a picture like the one above, and I think maybe someone should have shot me anyway.

On Sunday my daughters were in the living room doing homework and listening to "Dancing Machine" by The Jackson Five. Of course, I had to stop cleaning and start doing The Robot. The first time I ever saw it done, was to "Dancing Machine". Stinky immediately got out the camera. Instead of taking pictures, she videotaped me. "Have you ever seen what you look like when you dance, mom?" She asked. "Because I'm doing this for your own good. Maybe if you can see yourself, you might not think it's such a great idea to keep doing it all the time.

"Yes. I have seen a video of myself, thank you very much. And I've decided it's just easier not to look at videos any more and keep dancing like a dork whenever I want."

"Okay. If you insist. But I may have to put this up on Facebook for everyone to see," Stinky said.

"Really? Because I think you'll find you're only hurting yourself with that one. For one, you're not my friend on Facebook, so none of my friends will be able to see it. And for two, all your friends will see it instead and since they're kind of smart, they'll figure out that you have half my DNA and you just might find them forgetting to invite you to parties and dances." Stinky didn't say anything after that, but the look of horror on her face was precious.

Here I am with my thumbs up tribute to dorkiness. Derrrrrr.

On Sunday it was suddenly cold and crazy windy. My body went right back into hibernation mode and I started thinking about storing all my comfort items. I dug through boxes and found some nice mellow CD's to load into my computer - Iron and Wine, The Shins and Willie Nelson and Emmy Lou Harris' El Teatro were just some of the discs I loaded.

I also cooked up a storm. I made fresh salsa with the last of the garden veggies my neighbors gave me, I baked au gratin potatoes and made some hummus for the girls for an after school snack. I was also going to make some pumpkin bars with cream cheese frosting, but I couldn't find the can of pumpkin goo I thought I had. I finally remembered that I used it a couple of weeks ago when I made pumpkin pie. Luckily it's cheap, because now I REALLY want some pumpkin bars...Especially the cream cheese frosting part.

Here's me finally flipping off someone else who's taking a picture of me. How do you like me now?

Coadster had to write a short story for her English class. It was supposed to take place in the future and be scary. So, she wrote this Blair Witch type teen story where some kids got trapped in a cabin in a Summer snowstorm caused by global warming. The cabin was empty except for a TV that they couldn't turn off, that only played campaign ads. I said, "Jeez, Coadster. That is frightening. Do they all end up killing themselves at the end?" I'm pretty sure I would after about five minutes.

Here is our artsy dance sequence. Doesn't it look like we could have easily been dancing to Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time". We're so unusual.

At work today, I was once again quoting old Hee Haw episodes. I'm sure you all know how that goes. It was one of those shows growing up that my parents were pretty much appalled by, but everyone else in my neighborhood just loved. I'm guessing that's why I'm still quoting it at my desk at work in my cubicle in my forties. Either that, or I'm just that big of a freak. (shut-up) After I sang a little of the "She met another..." song, my cubicle neighbor came up with some of his own quotes. I told him I thought it would be so awesome if he would perform a Hee Haw episode where he acted out all the parts - even Barbie Benton's. He said that if he hadn't smoked so much pot in the seventies, he may have been able to remember one. As it was, he could really only recall some Minnie Pearl'isms. Hey, that worked for me.

Trying to interpret this photo is a little tricky. I'm thinking I was trying to get back to my cultural roots by performing my version of the River Dance, and it made my friend sick just to watch it.

Oh yeah. I was tagged to pick the Saturday Scavenger Hunt word this week. What the hell, I think I'm going with Street. Has that been used?


Mrs. Hairy Woman said...

I think Coadster has something there.. She could sell the rights for the movie version..

we never really know what we look like when we dance.. not until there is a picture or video..

Remiman said...

Thanks for the fantastic pix. I particularly fond of the 4th; I'm imagining you motioning to me with your finger to join you on the dance floor.
Next time, call me. My number is: BR549.
Hew Haw was a fave of mine. I don't think I missed a single episode.

Tara said...

Love the dancing photos! Most songs just ask to be danced to instead of cleaning. You just have to stop what you're doing and dance it out.

Coadster having to write a story reminded me of something I heard this morning. Some woman wrote some books that are compilations of every joke she saved since 1998. She had so many that she had to make one book into a few more.

NoRegrets said...

It's great you have the best comebacks for your children...

Cricket said...

You are a dork, a funny, fun dork.

That last picture is the best. Your top half looks pretty roboty and the bottom looks funky. I think you need to meld the competing styles and you'll be good to go.

laura b. said...

You are too fun! You are the Dancing Queen.
I like the sound of Coadster's story and Stinky's film making instincts. Talent clearly runs in the family.
And great word...we haven't used STREET, until now :-)

Mr Atrocity said...

My dancing is appalling. I can co-ordinate a maximum of three limbs. I know this because I can play guitar and a wah-wah pedal at one time but when the fourth limb gets involved it all goes bad. I'm a lousy dancer and a lousy drummer.

Churlita said...


Unfortunately, I know. But fortunately, I don't care.


You could probably easily outdance me in a second.


It would be kind of cool to write down every joke you've ever heard. Although, a lot of them would probably be too dirty to get published.


No one can out-sass me. I'm not sure whether that's good or bad.


I'm just going to go ahead and take that as a compliment.


Thanks. We are a family talented in the dork arts.

Mr Atrocity,

I bet you're still better than me. Hey, isn't it your birthday today?

Not Fainthearted said...

heheheh, You're right. I feel much better about my dance silliness than before! I think it's just precious how the girls want to protect you from yourself. Very hilarious!

Churlita said...


Good. That's what I'm here for - to help you feel better about your own dancing skills.