Monday, June 09, 2008

You Always Keep Me Guessin'

My favorite bartender S.'s wife is an amazing ceramics artist. She made this piece and the one below for my friend Libby.

So, when I got home on Saturday night, I started getting texts from an unknown number. The first one said:

Churlita I hear yr HOT!!!!!!

There are a few boys who drunk text me, and I figured it was one of them using a friend's phone to mess with me, but I didn't want to venture a guess, in case it was the wrong boy. So, this is how I responded:

Me: Who the hell is this?

Them: Does it matter?

Me: Yes it does. Would it matter 2 u? Don't u wanna know whos heard yr hot?

Them: No. I'd b curious.

Me: Me 2. I'm assuming someone I know is messing with me thru u. So who is it?

Them: Someone!

Me: Um duh. Where's a 402 area code from anyway? I have my suspicions but I still feel like Drew Barrymore at the beginning of the movie Scream.

Them: Kind of creepy but you feel hor.

Them: Opps. Hot.

At this point, I was pretty sure I knew who it was. One of the boys who texts me is notorious for text typos and he always writes opps, instead of oops. I was still getting annoyed that he wouldn't come clean. Especially since, in the middle of this, he texted me from his own phone, so I wouldn't think it was him.

Me: Yeah it is creepy but more hot than hor, thx. Ok. Enough bullshit. Who gave u my number. I'm sure they're right there with u.

Them: U r very curious.

Me: U would b 2. Again its getting a little creepy 4 me.

I was pretty much done with the texting, and I think he figured he'd gone further than he should with it, so the guy who I thought it was called me. The weirdest thing about the phone call, is that we talked for about an hour, and neither one of us brought up the dorky texting incident. He didn't own up to it, and I didn't ask him. I didn't bring it up because I knew he was just trying to be funny, and then didn't quite know how to end it once he realized it had gone too far. It was definitely an interesting way to end my Saturday night, but if he ever does it again, I'll make like Barney Fife and nip it in the bud.

Libby calls the top one goosey and the bottom one goatie. Of course.


fringes said...

When you get the new iPhone, you'll be able to spell out the words for 2 and u r even while drunk texting!

Remiman said...

Do grls ever act dorky like that or is it only gys?

evil-e said...

I have not gone to those texting extremes. You are like the Sherlock Holmes of text crimes in knowing the guilty's MO with the opps instead of oops. Very nice.

NoRegrets said...

I'm sorry, but the bottom one is a little creepy. I really like the top one though.

Send me your phone number! I won't text that you're hot! :-)

Susan said...

Send me your phone number! I'm a great drunk texter. It normally contains things such as "omg omg look at this guy's butt" with a that's more along the lines of drunk pic msg

Tara said...

That guessing game is creepy and annoying. It's not "hor".

DJSassafrass said...

Silly boys.

Mr Atrocity said...

Ooh I find anonymous texting way too creepy for words. Drew Barrymore in Scream is exactly what it feels like.

Poptart said...

I'm sooooo not into the anon texting thing... I wouldn't even respond!

I love the creepy goat and the wacky goose though!

laura b. said...

Oh well, if you are going to get anonymous texts, at least they are about how hot you are. Could be worse. Goosey and Goatie are cute!

booda baby said...

I love that you have such mind-boggling tolerance; you totally make up for me.

MrManuel said...

Wow, did you have a 12 year old texting you?

Churlita said...


But then I won't write like a Prince song...


Girls are usually worse, I think.


Yeah. I read Harriet the Spy a lot when I was a kid.


Are you a fun drunk texter? I'd gladly give you my number.


Drunk pics are just as good as drunk texts..If not better.


I think it's hard for guys to understand that. I think they like the idea of a secret admirer.


I know.

Mr Atrocity,

I know. I think it was a two person effort. It was started by the friend and then the other guy took over, and they didn't seem to know how to stop it, after the initial idea.


I kind of figured out who it was. Then once I was obviously tired of it, he finally ended it and called.


Yeah. It could have said, I heard your heinous.

Booda Baby,

It's just because I've done stupid shit like that before. Where it sounded so cute and clever in theory but then turned kind of dorky and lame in practice.

Mr Manuel,

Everyone seems like a twelve year old when they're drunk and texting.