My favorite bartender S.'s wife is an amazing ceramics artist. She made this piece and the one below for my friend Libby.
So, when I got home on Saturday night, I started getting texts from an unknown number. The first one said:
Churlita I hear yr HOT!!!!!!
There are a few boys who drunk text me, and I figured it was one of them using a friend's phone to mess with me, but I didn't want to venture a guess, in case it was the wrong boy. So, this is how I responded:
Me: Who the hell is this?
Them: Does it matter?
Me: Yes it does. Would it matter 2 u? Don't u wanna know whos heard yr hot?
Them: No. I'd b curious.
Me: Me 2. I'm assuming someone I know is messing with me thru u. So who is it?
Me: Um duh. Where's a 402 area code from anyway? I have my suspicions but I still feel like Drew Barrymore at the beginning of the movie Scream.
Them: Kind of creepy but you feel hor.
Them: Opps. Hot.
At this point, I was pretty sure I knew who it was. One of the boys who texts me is notorious for text typos and he always writes opps, instead of oops. I was still getting annoyed that he wouldn't come clean. Especially since, in the middle of this, he texted me from his own phone, so I wouldn't think it was him.
Me: Yeah it is creepy but more hot than hor, thx. Ok. Enough bullshit. Who gave u my number. I'm sure they're right there with u.
Them: U r very curious.
Me: U would b 2. Again its getting a little creepy 4 me.
I was pretty much done with the texting, and I think he figured he'd gone further than he should with it, so the guy who I thought it was called me. The weirdest thing about the phone call, is that we talked for about an hour, and neither one of us brought up the dorky texting incident. He didn't own up to it, and I didn't ask him. I didn't bring it up because I knew he was just trying to be funny, and then didn't quite know how to end it once he realized it had gone too far. It was definitely an interesting way to end my Saturday night, but if he ever does it again, I'll make like Barney Fife and nip it in the bud.
Libby calls the top one goosey and the bottom one goatie. Of course.