Makin' Their Way, The Only Way They Know How

So, yeah... Ahem. You'll be happy to know that I'm extremely sober right now. I'd love to say that the drunken post will never happen again, but if you've been following this blog for any length of time, you'd know I was lying.

I've decided to move on and maybe work on fostering that thing I've been having with HBO. You know, he really isn't that bad. Like they always do, our relationship started out all hot and heavy. I inhaled the whole last season of The Sopranos in the first few weeks of our honeymoon phase. Except for the first couple of episodes with the annoying, continuing dream sequence, I was so passionate about the show, that I had a hard time doing or thinking about anything else. The mix of violence, money and all that creative swearing in New Jersey accents, was intoxicating.

But as those things go, I finished watching The Sopranos, our fervor cooled to a reasonable level and we got to the stage where I felt like I needed intellectual stimulation from HBO as well. At first, I was nervous that all we had was passion, passion, passion and I would be bored when it died down, but he really surprised me. I sat down with him and watched Mrs. Harris, a made for HBO film about the lives of the Scarsdale Diet doctor guy and the mistress who murdered him and I thought it very well done. Both Ben Kinglsey and Annette Benning were awesome. So far, HBO has detailed such unhealthy and unattractive male/female interactions, that I'm not even tempted to pursue a relationship with a real, living, breathing man - it's much safer this way.

After Mrs. Harris, HBO and I ran into a snag when he exposed my daughters to The Dukes of Hazzard movie. Imagine my dismay when not just one, but both girls told me they loved that slimy piece of cinematic cheese. Wha? HBO probably would have killed less of their brains cells had he introduced them to the joys of ingesting whippets of nitrous instead.


We were able to work it all out in the end. HBO promised to take The Dukes of Hazzard off of OnDemand and then turned the passion back up on our relationship, by introducing me to The Band of Brothers series. The special effects are amazing, and it does a good job of detailing that whole military concept of throwing a bunch of strangers from wildly different backgrounds together into a platoon and making them responsible for each others lives. I'm sure it makes me a sucker, but I thought Band of Brothers totally made up for The Dukes of Hazzard.

I'm not sure how or when my relationship will end, but as far as imaginary boyfriends go, HBO will do just fine for right now.