Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Makin' Their Way, The Only Way They Know How

So, yeah... Ahem. You'll be happy to know that I'm extremely sober right now. I'd love to say that the drunken post will never happen again, but if you've been following this blog for any length of time, you'd know I was lying.

I've decided to move on and maybe work on fostering that thing I've been having with HBO. You know, he really isn't that bad. Like they always do, our relationship started out all hot and heavy. I inhaled the whole last season of The Sopranos in the first few weeks of our honeymoon phase. Except for the first couple of episodes with the annoying, continuing dream sequence, I was so passionate about the show, that I had a hard time doing or thinking about anything else. The mix of violence, money and all that creative swearing in New Jersey accents, was intoxicating.

But as those things go, I finished watching The Sopranos, our fervor cooled to a reasonable level and we got to the stage where I felt like I needed intellectual stimulation from HBO as well. At first, I was nervous that all we had was passion, passion, passion and I would be bored when it died down, but he really surprised me. I sat down with him and watched Mrs. Harris, a made for HBO film about the lives of the Scarsdale Diet doctor guy and the mistress who murdered him and I thought it very well done. Both Ben Kinglsey and Annette Benning were awesome. So far, HBO has detailed such unhealthy and unattractive male/female interactions, that I'm not even tempted to pursue a relationship with a real, living, breathing man - it's much safer this way.

After Mrs. Harris, HBO and I ran into a snag when he exposed my daughters to The Dukes of Hazzard movie. Imagine my dismay when not just one, but both girls told me they loved that slimy piece of cinematic cheese. Wha? HBO probably would have killed less of their brains cells had he introduced them to the joys of ingesting whippets of nitrous instead.

We were able to work it all out in the end. HBO promised to take The Dukes of Hazzard off of OnDemand and then turned the passion back up on our relationship, by introducing me to The Band of Brothers series. The special effects are amazing, and it does a good job of detailing that whole military concept of throwing a bunch of strangers from wildly different backgrounds together into a platoon and making them responsible for each others lives. I'm sure it makes me a sucker, but I thought Band of Brothers totally made up for The Dukes of Hazzard.

I'm not sure how or when my relationship will end, but as far as imaginary boyfriends go, HBO will do just fine for right now.


Anonymous said...

I'm jealous of your boyfriend.

Churlita said...


Yeah, I get that a lot.

Anonymous said...

Happy to hear you enjoyed Band of Brothers.I obsessed about it.As for HBO, I keep hearing great things about The Wire. I want to catch a couple of episodes of Season one to see of it is worth the hype. Have you seen any of it?

I also have Dick Winters memoir Beyond Band of Brothers I could loan out. Quick read and touches on some things not covered in the series. He is an amazing man.

Churlita said...


I really like the Dick Winters character. He seems like one of those people who would make me look bad in comparison. I'd love to read his book.

I've started on The Wire, but the problem for me with it, is that I'm so far behind already and there is a lot of viewing time to make up. It may be more of a commitment tham I'm ready for right now. Everyone else I know loves it, so if you have the time, I bet it's really worth it.

Remiman said...

I'm speechless!
You know he dated me for awhile, but I dumped him a few years ago. No regrets on my part, but the dufus is constantly sending me letters to start up with him again. I've told him I'm not that kinda guy, but he's persistant.
So, be careful. He has no sense of loyalty!

Churlita said...


He does seem to get around. I've tried to overlook that about him. I've known many persistent men - that's one thing I can deal with in a guy.

julie in l.a. said...

I'm just wondering, Churlita--did HBO expect you to put out right away, or did he take things slow and gentlemanly? Since I'm trying to work my way back into that scary dating world and all, I'd just like to know since I've been out of the loop for a while.

Churlita said...

Oh, you know. HBO is a total whore and thought he was going to get some right away. I told him straight up that I wouldn' put-out during the first Sopranos episode, though.

Brando said...

BoB is awesome. My favorite mini-series ever and some of the best TV ever made.

Be careful, Churlita -- HBO may try to trick you into a Taxicab Confession.

Churlita said...


I haven't quite finished it yet, but I'm inclined to agree with you.

I totally forgot about Taxicab Confessions. How funny. Is that still on?

Brando said...

I don't know -- TLB and I cancelled our HBO last year due to too many reruns of things like Dukes of Hazard. Taxicab Confessions was always fun. Too bad there's not a best-of DVD for that.

Churlita said...

the only reason I got it at all is because it was REALLY cheap for the next year. So far, there's been enough on it to warrant the 8 extra dollars a month for Stars Shotime and HBo together.