Where I work, I see a lot of names. I'm not going to tell you what my job is on here. Let's just say I'm doing god's work, so I'm everywhere and then again, nowhere at all. Yeah, anyway, as I come across all these names, I have to wonder what the hell people are thinking when they name their children. I understand that you can't help what your last name is, but if it were really bad, wouldn't you have it legally changed? I know I've done posts about weird names before, but I came across some recently, and I thought I'd move beyond Assman, Slutsky and Misty Bush and share a few more with you.
Last names: Just this week I came across two fun ones. The first was a guy with the last name of Munch. Would you really want to be forever known as Mr. Munch? If you were a man, perhaps you would. It might make you very popular with the ladies.
The second awesome last name was Lustenberger. That guy could easily be a character in a romance novel..."Jezebel Slutsky touched her heaving bosom as she fantasized about Mr. Lustenberger's throbbing manhood."
First names: Here are two I've seen recently that you should definitely not name your sons. Adonis and Casanova - you can be certain with those monikers to live up to, your sons would have to be the nerdiest, most unattractive and unluckiest in love, men alive. It's like laying a curse upon your boy's head right at birth.
If you have a girl, promise me you won't name her Aquanetta. I swear to god this is someone's actual name and I would put money down that she will grow-up and kill her parents at the height of her out of control meth addiction.
Oh, and if you have twins, rhyming or similar names can be cute, but calling them Tiffany and Taffany is wrong and bad.
First and Middle Names That Correlate: I'm not sure of the thinking here. When you name your daughter, Farrah Fawcett Smith, do you want her to turn out like a certain seventies actress with great hair, or are you just out of your fucking mind? The other priceless correlating first and middle name I found this week was; first name, Tammy and middle name Wynette.
That's all I got tonight. I will go forth and do more of the lord's work - researching names to make fun of.