Sunday, October 22, 2006

I Can Tell That We Are Gonna Be Friends

Here is a picture of the Bloom County house on Summit Street in case anyone is feeling nostalgic for a certain comic strip.

I finally took the plunge and signed up for Myspace this weekend. I've been hesitant for so many reasons, but a lot of my friends are musicians and it's a good way to keep up with when they'll be playing around town. Plus, it's so quick and easy to send messages, but most importantly, both of my daughters are on Myspace and this way I can check in and possibly get to know some of the 65 year old men they're befriending over the internets.

There are so many observations I have about the whole bizarre process of setting up my profile page. The strangest part for me was trying to garner friends. Collecting friends on Myspace is a bit like cultivating Sea Monkeys. At first you troll around to your friends' sites looking for people you knew a while ago who may have moved and you send in your friend requests. It's fun when people start to respond and your Sea Monkeys are all cute and contained. Then you go to sleep and when you wake up, you see all these new requests from scary men you've never met before with names like Monkey Love and Big Tony and the requesting takes on a life of its own and goes out of control and you feel a little sick for even starting it. But unlike Sea Monkeys, you can just easily delete out all the hairy backed, swinger scum from your inbox and it's so much easier than cleaning the scum out of your fishbowl.

The bigger problem comes with trying to keep the creeps from forming in your Myspace fishbowl at all. At first, I decided to pretend that I was married. All my friends know better and it wouldn't be a total lie if you think about all the things and ideas I feel married to. For instance, I have a deep emotional and spiritual commitment with my American Heritage dictionary and while it will never go anywhere, I also have a really unhealthy relationship with Bad Grammar and I can't seem to quit him no matter how many times he disappoints and embarrasses me in front of my friends.

Now, if you thought saying you were married on your Myspace profile would keep Monkey Love away, you were very, very wrong. It turns out that the creepy guys could care less about your marital status, and to prove it, they will inform you that they too are married or in a relationship - just so you know that you're both on the same philandering page. So, my next plan for staying under the radar of the swingers was to post a little kid picture of me for my profile. Which, in combination with declaring myself married and listing C. W. McCall as one of my favorite musicians, has seemed to lessen the number of creepy requests I've received. I just hope naming John Denver as a favorite as well, won't keep my real friends away.

16 comments:

Mr Atrocity said...

You are not alone in finding this whole thing a bit weird.

It's odd, perhaps I'm just not aware of it but myspace doesn't seem like such a big deal here in the UK. Amongst my peers, many have blogs but none have a Myspace page to my knowledge. Maybe I'm just too Goddamn old.

Sigh.

T.A.B. said...

Man, I used to love Bloom County.

Margaret said...

Monkey Love needs friends too! Too funny.

Churlita said...

Mr Atrocity,

Thanks for that. It was really funny. I'm way older than you. Maybe English people aren't as big attention whores as we Americans are.

TAB,

It was an awesome comic strip, and even more fun for me since many of the characters and places were based on Iowa City things.

Margaret,

Judging by Monkey Loves "friends" he has plenty of women comrades who are somehow involved in the highly profitable sex industry.

Mark said...

The whole myspace thing creeps me out a bit. So many of my friends are signed up now that I almost feel I should sign up just so I can leave comments and look at their photos, etc.

But I resist.

By the way, I really like Leaving on a Jet Plane, and who can resist Convoy! Though great tactical maneuvers, I bet you'll still get plenty of creepy requests.

Churlita said...

Mark,

Resist the peer pressure. I probably wouldn't be on it, if I wasn't keeping an eye on my daughters.

It's hard to avoid the creeps on the internets.

Remiman said...

Churlita,
I love that house, comic strip material or not. Its beautiful.

Myspace? Hmmm.. I do have an account there but don't use it. I think it's for folks younger than me, and I've heard and read some unkind reports about its abuse.

Maybe if you get on I'll brave it, not too sure though. ;-)

Killer said...

I think Bloom County is the greatest Comic strip ever.

I did a public service anouncement on Myspace.
Myspace addict

Anonymous said...

I think it's just the avoidance of creeps in general that is hard to avoid, with or without internet.

loveyouintheface said...

I used to have what I hoped was a rock 'em, sock 'em myspace profile but I started compulsively looking at ex-boyfriend profiles (I know, I know.) Verging dangerously close to becoming a cyber stalker made me feel all kinds of ooky. Though, my personal brand of creepiness was outweighed by e-mails from strange men requesting all manner of umm..favors. So, I quit the Myspace, got a blog and it's been relatively smooth sailing cyberwise:)

Churlita said...

Remiman,

yeah, that house rocks and Myspace doesn't.

Killer,

I will always love Bloom County. I read your piece on Myspace - very funny.

Dex,

The creeps are everywhere, but if you spend less time in bars and on the internets and more time hanging out at home watching the latest Season of Sopranos, they tend to be less prevalent.

ILYITF,

Two of my "friends" are exes. They live in town and I know more about them than I want to. But if my first boyrfriend had a Myspace site, I would probably be way ookier than you.

Anonymous said...

For full disclosure, as a kid I did once own a C.W. McCall 45. Not the one you would think but the more bizarre "C.B. Savage".

dex

Anonymous said...

i spoke too soon. turns out it wasn't c.w. mcall after all. I thought he had the trucker song niche all to himelf.Should not blog after driving all day.

Churlita said...

Maybe you're too young to remember the whole trucker/CB hysteria. Everyone was trying to cash in - even Sam Peckinpah (sp?) had a trucker movie back then.

Brando said...

What I wouldn't give for Bloom County to come back. I read the Holy Comics Trinity (Bloom County, Calvin and Hobbes, and the Far Side) every day for years. But BC was always my favorite and one of those things like Monty Python that had a huge influence on my sense of humor.

I signed up for MySpace because my brothers and sister were on there, and I used it as a sort of message board for the Vegas trip I took with them. I pride myself on having almost no friends on it. You can add me if you like, Churlita -- Brando70.

Churlita said...

I will totally add you. As long as you don't mind me messing up your Myspace freindlessness.