Coadster dispensing gifts at her final showchoir concert.
I might have to put a warning before every blog post for one thing or another, but I'll warn you about the sad, sorry sap potential for this one. My excuse is that Coadster just accepted her admission and signed her college housing contract tonight. (breathe, Churlita, breathe...Into a paper bag if necessary)
This is a year of lasts for Coadster. It was so strange this Sunday to think that we'll never see her flashing jazz hands and cranking up the cheese...On stage, anyway. I'm in the last few months of legally being able to tell her what to do, or being responsible for her. Starting this Fall, much of her life will take place without my knowledge. What a strange thing, this parenting gig is.
From a very young age, I experienced loss...And with my abandonment issues, I pretty much expect that eventuality from every relationship/friendship I have with people. But as every parent knows, it's different with my kids. I've never been so invested in another human being the way I am with my girls. I can pick them out of a crowd of hundreds, I know exactly what each facial expression, every bodily movement means and I really do feel every emotion along with them. I don't have the same control issues that a lot of my friends have, but it will still be hard for me not to be a part of Coadster's everyday life anymore.
This is also a year of firsts for Coadster. She will finally be able to vote (which for as political as she is, this is huge for her), she will live on her own, file her taxes, move to another town, make her own rules for herself, all for the first time. It's so exciting I could cry...And I'm sure I will..Often.
I'm not at all worried about her being on her own. I've said since she was born, that she's one of the most responsible, poised people I've ever met. It will just be hard for me to watch her make the mistakes she's bound to make and suffer all those slings and arrows that everyone does while they figure out how to be an adult in this world. All I can do is remind her that I'm here when she needs me...And keep those paper bags handy.