Monday, November 09, 2009

Don't Let It Bring You Down, It's Only Castles Burning

This is what Stinky looked like a lot when she was little and how I feel right now...Just kidding...Mostly.

Okay. So, the girl backed out. She seemed super into the apartment, until I told her what references the landlord needed. Then she told me that the place "wasn't really right" for her. Whatever. I have no more leads and I'm not sure what to do next. I'll have to think on it some, and see if I can come up with some other options. Most of the people who have looked at it came from Craigslist. The fliers didn't get me jack and so I stopped putting them up. I might try the hospital and see if there are billboards or rental lists for med students or something. Wouldn't it be great if I could find someone to rent my place, so I could finally shut the hell up about it already?

Okay. I want to get away from the bad stuff and move onto talking more about my new place. It still doesn't seem real sometimes. It should be great, but also a lot of work. I'm lucky because I have a lot of people who have offered to help me. Of course, as I've written on here before, I'm not always the best about either asking for or accepting help. I'm sure it has something to do with both my Irish Catholic upbringing and my orphan issues that make me worry about being a "bother" to other people. Which I know is stupid. I personally don't say things I don't mean, so if I offer help to someone, I really want to help them, and am a little sad if they don't accept. So, why would it be any different for anyone else?

I'm constantly working to get better at changing the things that bug me about myself, and that whole "not letting people help me" issue I have is one of the things I'm trying to work on. Logically I know that not asking for or accepting help when I really want/need it can make me seem passive/aggressive and confusing. I strive not to be either of those two things. So, when my friend Libby asked me if I needed help moving, I said, "Yes, please" (even though it made me VERY uncomfortable) and when my friend J. offered to help me do my hardwood floors, I first said, "oh, I'm sure I can figure it out..." then caught myself, and tried to graciously accept her offer. And you want to know what? It didn't kill me. Weird. So, I guess what I'm saying is, be very careful what you offer me. I just might take you up on it.

8 comments:

Remiman said...

Churlita,
;>)

Anyway, I'm the same way about asking for help, always have been.
Like you though, I'd help any one in a heart beat.

Want some help moving?
rel

Tara said...

Have you tried posting the ad in a local newspaper instead of Craigslist?

I wish I lived nearby, I would definitely help you move.

Pamela said...

You know what, it's great to accept help. And I'm sure you help others, so it all works out in the cosmic universe. Of course, I feel the same way, but have learned to allow others to help me.

Ananda girl said...

Good for you... working on changes. I have that same feel weird about accepting help thing and that same background. I never made that connection... but I am sure now that you are right.

As for the lost renter... she could not provide what the landlord needed anyway, or she would not have backed out like that. Better to find out before you submitted her. Someone better will show up. It will happen.

Johnny Yen said...

I'm sorry your subletter didn't work out. I'll keep my fingers crossed. I think good news is in the air-- we found out today that my wife got the job she interviewed for last week. Good news, because our health coverage COBRA subsidy was about to run out, followed shortly by her unemployment benefits.

Moving day is when you find out who your real friends are.

Brando said...

Sorry you're still having sublet issues, but I think you'll land someone. Hang in there.

laura b. said...

I'm sorry about that flake, but someone reliable is coming.

I fully understand everything you said about help issues. I remind myself all the time to just smile and say thank you :-)

Churlita said...

Rel,

Sure. That could be a long trip for you though. Hee hee.

Tara,

I just posted an ad in the University paper. It goes up on thursday. So, I guess we'll see what that brings...

Pamela,

I know its' dumb, but no matter how hard I try to be better, it's still difficult for me. I guess I'll just have to keep working on it.

Ananda,

It's true. I was just a little annoyed with her, because I had to email her to find out that she backed-out. She didn't tell me right away. Grrrr.

Johnny,

Hey, that's great! I hope that luck flows over to Iowa and I find a subletter.

Brando,

Thanks. All I can do is keep chipping away at it and posting it once a week on Craigslist.

LauraB.,

It should be that tough, should it? But it is hard to smile and say thank you.