G. came over to help us decorate our tree and set Ironman straight about a few things.
My mantra lately is "I'm tired". I say it over and over again in my head. I'm sure I've even accidentally said it aloud a few times when I was really feeling it. (yes, I've become THAT crazy lady who walks around muttering to herself). I have no one to blame but myself. I want to be superhuman and be able to do 50 hours worth of work and fun and running in 24. It's ridiculous.
On Sunday afternoon, I finally had a mini-meltdown. I was trying to clean and cook and get things ready for the tree to make the holidays special for the girls. Of course, all of that self-imposed stress, just made me cranky and I could see I was going to make the holidays "special" in all the wrong ways for my daughters. Dumb ass.
Stinky and G. showcasing our little tree. It smells incredible.
So, since I can't turn around however many years of fuckedupedness in my overachieving, too hard on myself personality and just slow down, I decided to give myself a gift instead. I'm going to use one of my mandatory unpaid furlough days this Wednesday. I plan on using it to sleep in a little, paint my room, go for a nice long run outside, and do the Christmas shopping we didn't get done this Saturday. I'm already feeling a million times better just knowing it's coming up. So, tomorrow is a mini-Friday. Merry Christmas to me!