Monday, December 14, 2009

And I Can't Think of Right Words to Say

G. came over to help us decorate our tree and set Ironman straight about a few things.

My mantra lately is "I'm tired". I say it over and over again in my head. I'm sure I've even accidentally said it aloud a few times when I was really feeling it. (yes, I've become THAT crazy lady who walks around muttering to herself). I have no one to blame but myself. I want to be superhuman and be able to do 50 hours worth of work and fun and running in 24. It's ridiculous.

On Sunday afternoon, I finally had a mini-meltdown. I was trying to clean and cook and get things ready for the tree to make the holidays special for the girls. Of course, all of that self-imposed stress, just made me cranky and I could see I was going to make the holidays "special" in all the wrong ways for my daughters. Dumb ass.

Stinky and G. showcasing our little tree. It smells incredible.

So, since I can't turn around however many years of fuckedupedness in my overachieving, too hard on myself personality and just slow down, I decided to give myself a gift instead. I'm going to use one of my mandatory unpaid furlough days this Wednesday. I plan on using it to sleep in a little, paint my room, go for a nice long run outside, and do the Christmas shopping we didn't get done this Saturday. I'm already feeling a million times better just knowing it's coming up. So, tomorrow is a mini-Friday. Merry Christmas to me!

10 comments:

jeci said...

Good for you! Moving is stressful and painting is stressful and Christmas is stressful. It's no wonder you're tired! Enjoy your day off.

PS I lurv the paint in your living room! It looks great! I also love those sisal(?) rugs. Very cozy indeed.

laura b. said...

Way to step back and see the big picture. It is a stressful time of year under ideal circumstances, but any number of things can compound that sensation. Enjoy your bonus day off!

And I love your tree...and the models are adorable.

Remiman said...

Churlita,
I'm getting worried: Everyday you're getting smarter and smarter! ;)
rel

SkylersDad said...

Good for you for taking time for yourself!

Pamela said...

step away from the stress....

Tara said...

You have totally earned that day off!

That's a great tree, I miss being able to buy live ones.

And I'm glad that Ironman is getting a lecture from your friend.

Ananda girl said...

Great plan! You have been so busy that you certainly have earned a day off.

Wow first Christmas tree in your house... woot!

AlienCG said...

Ah, how I used to enjoy my midweek weekends (feel free to use that term for yourself). The first time I decorated my Christmas tree in my living room, it felt so good.

Take a day off and relax and enjoy yourself.

MrManuel said...

Awesome and good for you. When you are going 100 million miles an hour, you need a day like that. Enjoy your day tomorrow.

Churlita said...

Jeci,

Thanks so much. I'm actually covered in primer even as I'm writing this.

LauraB.,

I will. I can't tell you how happy it's made me.

Rel,

Don't get too worried. I just don't write about all of the dumb things I do because nobody has that much time to read...

Skyler's DAd,

Thanks. I'm so ready for that time.

Pamela,

...Or run away...

Tara,

Why can't you have a real one>

Ananda,

I know. I love all the good firsts in my new house.

AlienCG,

Those midweek weekends are the best and what a great name for them.

Mr Manuel,

I'm excited to slow down to 90 miles per hour.