Here is a butterfly on a flower.
When your mind wanders, where does it go? At our retreat today, we had a wellness helper/expert visit and teach us yoga exercises we could do at our desks at work. It was actually pretty cool. I've never really been super interested in yoga before. It just seemed like for a while there, everyone was doing it and since I have to be difficult, that meant I couldn't. Plus, there's all that sitting still that I have a really hard time with.
Here is some fungus on a tree.
The woman who coached us told us to concentrate on our breathing and try to clear our heads of all thoughts. The breathing part reminded me of when I used to be a patient advocate helping people get through procedures that doctors liked to describe as uncomfortable, but most patients thought were just plain painful. I always tried to get them to work on their breathing too. "Take long deep breaths. In through your nose and out through your mouth...."
I used the same technique on Coadster when she was younger and would get too tired or have a meltdown, just to calm her down. One time when she was feeling particularly stubborn she told me, "No. I'm not going to do it. I'm not breathing anymore!" I had to hide my face in my sleeve so she wouldn't see me laughing.
Shit. All those memories weren't helping me clear my mind. If there was only an off switch for my brain, I would be the happiest girl alive. When I really tried, the closest I could get was to think about running. It doesn't happen all the time, but once in a while when the weather is nice, and there's a light breeze against me and I've run long enough for my endorphins to kick in, I get to a place where I can't feel even the slightest pain, and I have a hard time remembering where I am exactly (even though I run almost the same route every day). My mind isn't completely clear, but it's as close to an off switch as I'll ever get.