Monday, August 03, 2009

I Guess I'll Find Love, Peace of Mind Some Other Time

G. faking drama, but not really feeling it.

Saturday night we went out to celebrate with a friend. Her ex-fiance was getting married less than a year after they broke-up. She wasn't sad or mad about it. She just said it was weird. At first she thought she might stay home and chill-out, but D. and I convinced her she might just want to go out, so she didn't find herself stewing about stupid shit at midnight or whatever. We had a great girl night. There were a couple of guys with us, but for the most part it was us girls listening to cheesy music on the juke box, playing pool, dancing and laughing our asses off at our own expense. The guys who were there were giving us shit about playing Duran Duran and Hall and Oates. My excuse was that it was stupid, but really fun to dance to, and one of the guys replied, that he didn't dance so it was all lost on him. It hadn't occurred to me before, how much would be lost in most cheesy music, if you didn't want to dance to it.

G. with some drinking money all handy on her person.

Because it was that kind of night, we did some talking about relationships. One of the issues was whether a woman should ask a man out. A few of my girlfriends, who consider themselves feminists, thought the guy should either grow some balls or put on their big boy pants and ask the woman out. One of our guy friends who is in his mid-twenties disagreed. He said every person should create their own happiness. If we wanted to date someone, we should try to make it happen.

Of course, the big thing for me is my fear of rejection. In general though, I wait to see if the guy will ask me out first. If he doesn't, I usually lose my patience and ask him...Sure, I'm extremely awkward, with much stuttering and overuse of the word, "um", but I suffer through it. How about you all? Do you think it should be the man's, the woman's or should everyone just feel free to ask whomever they like out when they get the urge?

9 comments:

Ananda girl said...

I see no reason that either one cannot ask the other out...but would I? No, no likely. I'm a chicken.

MrManuel said...

I agree with the guy. I have no problems with girls asking guys out and think initiative needs to be taken by both parties.

laura b. said...

I think it is nice to be asked out. I assume most men would feel the same. So I think it is okay for a woman to do the asking...she just has to make the same mental preparation that guys do, for possible rejection.

Remiman said...

Churlita,
Either can break the ice.
The guy wants to ask the girl out but thinks she'd never give him the time of day. The same girl thinks the afore mentioned guy would be fun to share a date with but thinks it's the guy's place to do the asking.
protocol schmootocol. If you are attracted to some one; ask. The answer is yes more often than not. ;)

AlienCG said...

I say it's a free country, let the girls ask me out. I would have no problem with it.

crazy4coens said...

i love that you have friends and fun on the weekends! when you go out with friends, does one of you ask and all the rest wait to be asked? probably not. keep having fun and sharing it with the rest of us!

Tara said...

I prefer it if the guy does the asking, but I've switched it around a bit. Although I've never asked a guy out on a literal date before, but just a few times to hang out to have coffee. To me, that's as close to asking a guy out as I'd like to get.

Susan said...

I tend to be pretty backward so I wish the guy would do the asking. I, however, have never been a patient woman so I will eventually do the asking.

Poptart said...

I think I ask all the wrong guys, but every time I have done the asking, it's just a symptom of (or precursor to) a relationship where I do 80% of the heavy lifting, and get nothing, or worse, in return. So yeah, I am trying to let the guy do the asking. BUT, that said, I think women can do their part by letting the guy know they will say yes when the guy does ask. You know?