Tuesday, August 19, 2008

It Scares the Daylight, Making Nightmares

I took a photo of this guy in Chinatown because he was taunting everyone walking by saying, "Boo hoo. Boo hoo. Go home and cry to your mommy." I guess he had some issue with Americans in general and the Dalai Lama in particular and I'm sure if you talked to him for very long he'd probably get around to telling you that Ghandi and Mother Theresa were total assholes too. Which, if I weren't with my girls, I might have tried to introduce myself, because those kinds of whack jobs really crack my shit up.

Oh, kids. I hate to break it to you, but I'm feeling a little random tonight. Yeah, it looks like you'll get another peak at what untreated, adult ADD looks like. As you probably remember from my other random posts, it's not pretty. So, let's start flinging crap, shall we?

1.) I've been having these horrible night terrors lately where I'll think I woke up and walked into the living room because it sounded like someone had broken into our house. When I enter the room, the fan kicks on and the skirt I'm wearing (only in the dream) flies up and sticks to my face covering my nose so I can't breathe and there's also some horrible presence in the room. I usually wake up all freaked out and it sometimes takes me hours to go back to sleep. Stinky said the other night, she heard me pounding the wall in my room presumably trying to get the imaginary fabric away from my nose. How bizarre is that? Yeah, maybe one of those soothing cricket noise tapes wouldn't be such a bad idea after all?

2.) One thing I noticed about my girls when we were on vacation, is that they had their guest personalities on the whole time. You know how when your kids go to their friends or families houses, and people tell you how wonderfully behaved they are and how they helped clean up and were very polite? And you wonder what the hell those people could be talking about because their rooms look like a bomb went off and they had a huge screaming meltdown in the car on the way over for their visit? Well, on vacation, my kids act like they must at other people's houses. They would unpack the car without waiting for me to ask them, let alone complaining. They'd help set up the tent and make the fire at our campsite and ask me if I wanted anything to eat or drink while I was driving. Of course, the minute we pulled up in our driveway, they both went straight into the house empty handed. Apparently, whatever pod people my kids are possessed by on the road, refuse to follow us all the way back to Iowa. Damn it.

3.) Stinky's locker number at school is 666. For real. It really couldn't be more perfect.

4.) Remember how I told you that we hung out with my Uncle when we were in California? Well, after I got back, I was talking to my Aunt who was my legal guardian when I was growing up (the California uncle's sister) and she was laughing about how sheltered her brother was. "He doesn't read the paper or watch TV or really know what's going on in the world. I even tried to make a joke with him once and he didn't get it because he didn't know what a ho' was. I had to explain to him that it was another name for a prostitute..." Did I mention that my Aunt is 70? I never thought the day would come when my Aunt, who is so decidedly NOT street that she lives out in the country in Southeast Iowa, would be going on about how much hipper she was than someone else. Wow. No wonder I'm having night terrors lately.

5.) I got to see my girlcrush after I got back into town and she was even wearing her Coco Puffs t-shirt. It sure is good to be back in Iowa.

6.) On Friday when I was talking to Mr. B., he brought up one of my exes. He's known that particular ex for years, and he thought it was weird that not only were we still friends, but that that ex and I talked to each other about people we either date or have crushes on or whatever. I have a feeling the real issue is that we had talked about Mr. B. before. He said, "I'm not saying that you shouldn't be friends with your exes, I just think it's weird, that's all." Then I asked him if he wasn't friends with any of his exes and he said, "Hell no. All my exes are so fuckin' psycho that I try to stay as far away as possible."

I'm actually friends with most guys I've dated except the couple icky abusive ones. It usually takes me about three months to get over all the bullshit after a break-up and then I'm fine and I wish them the best. The guy I dated this Winter even called me this weekend out of the blue and left me this message: "In Fast Times at Ridgemont High", which three actors went on to win academy awards?" I called him back and said, "Duh. Sean Penn, Forest Whitaker and Nicholas Cage." Then we talked for close to an hour about a bunch of other stupid stuff.

So, here's my question to you blog readers: Are you friends with your exes, are you done with them as soon as it's over, or does it depend on the person?


Remiman said...

I can't remember the last time I had a nighttime nightmare. Can't say as I miss them much.

Exs? Don't have many and that was so long ago they're either dead or live in another state.

I try to be friends with everyone I know, even the total assholes. Even if I'm pissed at someone, I'll start talking to them after a few weeks.

evilesb138 said...

666 is the locker number, most excellent, that is sooooo metal. (hmm, the first thing I commented on, wonder why!!)

I have not really stayed too friendly with any of my exes. At first, after the break up, me and a couple stayed in contact. Me and my last one went to a movie together about 6 months after the fall...it just seems that as life moves on, so do people. I had my own shit and they had theirs. So be it, keeps drama from happening.

Mrs. Hairy Woman said...

That's really spooky that her locker # is 666..very cool...

I have not stayed friends with any of my exes.. Cause they were all Asses.. I don't like to be friends with people who are Asses..If I were to run into one.. I would ignore them..

another good thing said...

I haven't had an ex-husband-- yet, and the ex-boyfriends happened over 17 years ago, so.. invariably we are no longer close. Also, I think the new wives and girlfriends always had a problem with me still communicating with them after our break ups- bitches.

plus- how funny is that dream? i am totally stealing it!

Tara said...

I'm sorry you've been having bad dreams lately. Hope they settle down soon and let you sleep through the night. That sounds like the kind of dream I'd have, but I don't know if I pound the walls. Guess I could ask my neighbor, but I won't and say that I didn't.

Poptart said...

the dream thing is a little creepy, churlita! I worry.

I LOVE 666 locker!! I think it's actually bad design for a school to allow that, though - if I were locker manufacturer, I'd skip that #.

I never ever stay friends with exes, with one exception. I don't have a lot of exes, and I would like to be cool with them, but it almost seems that the older I get the worse/more psycho/stalky/icky/clueless the guys I date tend to be.

NoRegrets said...

I have had the tendency to try and stay friendly with all exes. Some I really shouldn't have tried - one or two psychos. But it's really difficult to be true 'friends' (like hanging out) since life moves on and other partners come into the picture. Even then it's not easy, but I think it's worth it. 99% of the guys I've had relationships with I'd be happy to see on the street.

Nate said...


I'm friends with most, but the one woman I used the big "L" word with other than my wife I wouldn't even accept a Facebook friend request from her.

DJSassafrass said...

Depends-100% depends. I get rid of those icky abusive ones as well.

Brando said...

Yikes on the night terror. Did they coincide with Stinky's locker number? Paranormal State has shown me that demons can get in your life in the most creative and unbelievable ways ;-)

I would love to answer your last question, but since my marriage was arranged when I was five, I've got nothing.

I'm also woefully behind in blog reading and plan to catch up on the travelogues this week.

MrManuel said...

I had no locker in high school. They took them out for "safety" reasons. We had ot carry ALL our books in the backpack every day.

Girl Crush is hot.

Nope, no longer talk to any exes.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

My friend Dan that I mention on my blos sometimes is the only old boyfriend that I'm still friends with. We were always good friends even when we were "in love". Now he's like my brother and his wife (Steph) is one of my best friends.

Otherwise I never cared enough or got close enough with any one else to stay friendly.

Nate said...

I just related that big sister speech about high school to a table full of folks.

We agree it's the best advice EVAR

AlienCG said...

I would hope the bad dreams are simply caused by the road trip and the effects of driving. I know I have had some strange dreams after long drives.

I haven't stayed friendly with my exes. I prefer to leave well enough alone.

Churlita said...


I'm like you. I can't carry a grudge. I wish I could sometimes.


See? And I live in a pretty small town, so I see some of my exes at shows or out and so it's harder to drift away.


I've had some exes who weren't asses, we just didn't mesh as a couple for whatever reason. Those are the guys I'm still happy to see.


I've had that problem with exes and male friends before. I try to get to know the girlfriends so they can see I'm not the least bit of threat.


I don't know if I was pounding the walls so much as thrashing around. Either way, it sounds a little overly dramatic.


That's funny. I'm kind of the opposite: the older I get, the better the guys I date are getting. The other thing, is that I don't stay in shitty relationships as long as I did when I was younger.


I seem to end up dating friends, and so we stay friends after. It seems like the guys I didn't know very well to begin with, were the scary psycho guys I don't waste my time on anymore.


And by the L word, you mean love, not lesbian, right?


You kind of have to. If you even try to be nice to them as a friend afterward, they still think they own you and then act like total asses all over again.


Don't worry. You have the best excuse in the world.


That sucks about not having any lockers. You're lucky you don't have back problems now.


Cool. He sounds like a great friend. That's hard to do after dating.


Thanks. I'll tell Coadster.


I bet you're right. I've had them on and off since I was a kid. I'm sure they're caused by stress and driving like that was pretty stressful.

minijonb said...

i love that cocoa puffs t-shirt! it rocks. nice pic.