Here is a staircase.Today the guy had his surgery. It took 6 1/2 hours but all the doctors seemed to think it was a success. I was very glad to hear it.
I went to the hospital after work and took over for the guy's mom, who had been there most of the day. The guy was in a lot of pain and loopy from morphine. I had to keep reminding him to press the button for more morphine, because I could see by his face that he was in pain, but he was so out of it, he would forget what to do to get rid of it. Our friend Bry stopped by on his break and made fun of how out of it the guy was. Nothing like a good friend to give you shit when you're in no position to fight back.
I have to say, I'll be glad when the worst of this is over. It's been a million times worse for the guy, but it's been a tough position for me too and probably the hardest way ever to try and begin a relationship. I know it was hard for him to have me see him in such a vulnerable position both physically and emotionally. The pain and the meds made him out of it and at times cranky. I had to try and figure out what he needed without him really knowing or being able to express it. My old nursing instincts and skillz kicked in and it was good when I knew what questions to ask the doctors or to try and figure out things that might be causing pain for him, but maybe not so good when I did things to help that he could actually do (and wanted to do) himself. I know it was difficult for both of us in so many ways. He has been good about thanking me for helping him, but I also know how weird it was for him to be trapped in a bed with his mom and the woman he's newly dating both hovering over him. Probably most men's nightmare. Tonight when he was more lucid, we talked about it a little. I told him he was going to have to try to tell people what he needed and didn't in the next few weeks - a tough thing for most of us.
It will be interesting to see what the next few weeks bring for us. Since he's not a smoker, is in amazing shape and has a very strong will, I think he'll heal much faster than any of the estimates the doctor's gave him. For us as a couple? It's hard to say. I guess this experience will either make us or break us. When this whole thing started and I was doing some of the most intimate things to help him because he couldn't move, he joked that maybe we weren't supposed to be doing this until at least the 12th date or so and I had to agree that timing definitely wasn't our forte'. So much for taking things slowly...
6 comments:
Churlita,
You're so right; forced togetherness can be a make or break situation. Better to go with the flow, follow your instincts and put off predictions.
rel
It seems like a huge plus that you have some experience dealing with those aspects of unwellness and recovery. But personally, yeah, not the ideal way to stay all dewy eyed with one another. Still, this really can be very potentially bonding and surely the worst of it will be over very soon.
Ha - whew. It'll be weird,for sure. But I think you two could work it out. [how intimate? wiping his butt? because THAT would be weird]
Isn't it interesting, how much we want SOME kind of guidelines? Half of a relationship's beginning (it seems) is spent on establishing 'shared rules.' Whatever. THIS is at least interesting.
PS. Yay for 6.5 hours turning out successfully. Modern medicine rocks.
Here is hoping he heals quick, and you two will have a nice long life!
People show their character in situations like this. Obviously, you're rising to the occasion, to your credit. I think that if the two of you are meant to be in the long term, this time will be one that binds you rather than breaks you.
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