Being the end of January, it's high time for my end of 2019 race report. Although, "racing" is a strong word for what I did last year, I did what I could and learned a lot from that.
Migraine was the word that governed my competing. I had more migraines (or maybe it was just one that lasted forever) in 2019 than I've ever had in my life. I'm hoping it's the death rattle of my perimenopause and once I reach the other side of the hormone roller coaster to menopause, (hopefully, this year?) I won't be in so much pain. A girl can dream, can't she?
Anyway, 2019 started out pretty well. I didn't have too many migraines at the beginning of the year, and I was able to do some decent training. The weight gain that has been a companion to my hormones' downward spirals, has been another fun factor in all of this aging crap my body is putting me through.
So, with this new found weight my body has been gaining, my running races were definitely lacking. Luckily, the running races I did, were with family, and I just had fun and did the best I could. the hard part was not comparing my current times with my past times. I can only compete against myself right now, I have to get over what my younger self used to be able to do. Sigh.
Although I didn't have the best Pigman Sprint Traithlon this year, I finally podiumed and won a pig. All that really meant, was that the strongest women in my category are about two years older than me, and they aged up into the next oldest category. This year, I'll be right back with them, and I'll be kissing my pig dreams goodbye again.
The best thing for me (besides winning a coveted pig) was that I finished the triathlon this year. The year before I tried to race it with a bad cold, and couldn't make it to the end of the swim. In 2019 I finished, but my swim still sucked.One of these years, I'll conquer the swimming part. It might be another 20 years before that happens, but I'll keep trying.
The one area where I felt like I excelled was in time trials. It could be that it just fell in the early Summer and my migraines were on hold, and time trials are a little more forgiving about extra weight. Another reason to love time trialing. Mostly, though, I worked my ass off to be better at them. I trained well and I made sure I took a few days off of riding before each one to keep my legs fresh. I can honestly say I am proud of how well I did (for me) on this one thing.
I was all set to go into cyclocross season with some strength and confidence, when I got hit hard. First I caught a two week long cold that sapped my strength. I went into my first race fairly fit, but not as strong as I had hoped.
Every year I try to change things up and work on stuff. 2019 was the year I went back to clipless pedals. I still rocked flat pedals, but they had clips inside them. I didn't wholly commit to them, though. So, 2020 will hopefully be the year I get used to staying clipped in for whole races, and to quit being so afraid that I won't remember to clip out when I need to.
I had a migraine for the entire month of September. You heard that right. It struck me on Sunday of Labor Day Weekend and nagged me until about the first of October. Holy $hit! You want to talk about debilitating. I couldn't race during the month of September and I felt like I lost any strength I had built up in the last year.
I went back to "racing' the first weekend of October to Fayetteville, Arkansas. It was an easy course on Saturday, but then it rained six inches on Sunday and I just tried not to die. You'll be happy to hear that I made it out alive and was able to go on and ride, albeit very slowly, in almost every race I signed up for in October.
Even though this was a hard year for me during cyclocross season, I got a lot out of it. We traveled to cool places, met really great people, played in the mud, learned a lot of crap, and I got stronger mentally, emotionally, and physically. I am here to rally for people (especially old people) to compete in a sport you love. It is a great way to grow old...I was going to say gracefully, but you've all seen me race. If you haven't, picture Lucille Ball riding her bike in the mud.
I'm coming into 2020 with migraines and weight gain still. Hopefully, those will both get better and better, but if they don't, I'll keep trying to get as much as I can out of everything I do. And most importantly, cut myself some slack when I'm not doing as well as I used to when I was younger. I have to work with what I've got now.
I will end with this statement of truth (my truth, anyway):
It is hard to keep racing when you are often competing for last place. If you are placing or even in the middle of the pack, you are motivated, and no one is pity clapping for you or wondering why you're wasting your time. Cyclocross is a great sport to not be very good at, because it's fun even when you suck, and the people are so supportive and welcoming. It still sucks to go back every week when you know you might come in last. So, to any of you, like me, who come in last or second to last most races, I am ridiculously proud of you. Keep going. Do what you can do and have fun with it. We're all doing this for ourselves and there's a lot we can get out of racing if we don't create too much self-induced pressure. Now, go out and play!
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