Only Women Bleed, Only Women Bleed

                     This was me when I was Margaret's actual age in the novel
 

Oh, kids. I'm STILL going through perimenopause. Since people love hearing a woman talk about her hormonal issues as much as they want someone to go into great details about their dreams for them, I'm going to write about it as an homage to Judy Blume - a kind of backwards "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret.":

Are you there Gawd? It's me Churly. Most of the other women in my grade are done with their period. Can you make sure I'm done with mine too now? I thought I was done last Summer. They always say you'll be post-menopausal once you've gone for one full year without getting your period, but they never say what they consider a period? Is it where you bleed for several days, or is it if you just wipe once and there's the tiniest bit of blood, and that's all? Well, according to my doctor, even the tiniest little iota of blood counts as a period. Now, I'm 56 years old, and still have to worry about birth control. Sigh.

Dear Gawd, if you are going to make me still be in perimenopause, can you please get rid of the some of the worst symptoms? Or maybe we could work out a deal? I could maybe handle the mid-section weight gain and dried-out skin, if you could keep the migraines at bay, and keep my muscles from cramping up every five minutes. 

 I understand how it is with estrogen and women - can't live with it, can't live without it. If you go through menopause in  your 40's you stand a greater chance of having heart attacks, and if you go through menopause in your later 50's you stand a greater chance of  getting breast and uterine cancer. Of course, the estrogen fluctuations are the worst! There are supposedly 34 different symptoms of perimenopause, and I've had almost every one of them. I can't take any of the estrogen supplements because of the breast cancer risk, and I've tried phytoestrogens with very little benefit. So, Gawd, if you're listening and want to help me out here, I'd love for last week to have been my very last period, so I can be in menopause, and then be post menopausal by this time next  year. 

Also, if you could try and ease up on the pain and suffering that women have to go through in our lives, and maybe smash the patriarchy while you're at it? I think all of us women would really appreciate it.

Love, Churls