There's So Much That We Need to Share. So Send a Smile and Show You Care

During these funky times, I've been doing a lot of trading of things with friends. I love to share and give people stuff, which is how this all started. Then the people I offered to give stuff to, said they wanted to trade me for stuff. And so, I have traded a ton of shit lately, and it feels really good.

I traded a lot with my friend, Brittany. She is a baking fiend, and I don't have the patience or the exactness (?) to bake very well. So, she traded me some coconut muffins, and I made her and  her boyfriend some chicken enchiladas with homemade refried beans and fried tostada shells. When she saw all of that, she threw in some Impossible burgers and some African groundnut stew.

That same day I traded my friends, Rob and Dawn some of those same enchiladas and beans and tostada shells for two and they reciprocated with two rolls of toilet paper, some farm fresh eggs and they colored (blue, appropriately) a card with the word, "balls" on it. Have I mentioned how much I love my friends?

I said something about how I was trying to keep an eye on my drinking (this virus has me very stressed-out and parched) and trying to find some fun non-alcoholic cocktails. That same friend, Brittany gave up alcohol about a year ago, and sent over a bottle of this non-alcoholic cocktail mixer and  some ginger beer to make mock Moscow mules. I then traded her for some lemon zucchini bread, which is one of the few things I do bake.

I really love trading food, especially meals with people. I've never made African ground nut stew and it was amazing.

My friend, Brittany dropped off some chocolate banana cake this week. I didn't have anything to trade for it then, but this weekend, I hope to make some veggie lasagna and some chicken wild rice soup in the crockpot, that I will drop off for her on Sunday.

My Spring flowers are finally blooming, so when John goes to drop off groceries for his mom in her retirement community, I try to get a bouquet ready for her. I also make sure he has a book or two. I gave her the first two books in the Olive Kitteridge trilogy last week, and the first book of the "Little House on the Prairie" series this week.

Now that it's garden season, I've been giving or trading like a banshee. My friend, Kathy had her husband drop off some cilantro and parsley plants, and I will bring over some snapdragons, bell pepper, and Mexican Torch Sunflower seedlings as soon as it's warm enough to plant them outside.

I traded my next door neighbor some red raspberry bush shoots, and some cone flowers, and he gave me some red onion shoots, and dropped off buckets of mulch. He later told me he took the mulch from the community gardens across the street, but since I'm not the one who pinched it, I can't feel too badly, can I?

Of course, I've been making plenty of food for my girls during this crazy pandemic. This week I made mashed red potatoes and green bean casserole and tomorrow when we drop off Coadster's bike, we'll bring them some lunch take-out from a restaurant of their choice.

So, if you haven't already, give somebody something. The act alone will make you feel better, and who knows what you'll get back.

Here is the Main Thing I Want to Say. I'm Busy Twenty-Four Hours a Day

First off, I want to apologize for not having written. I've been having bad migraines that make me stoooopid and not very eloquent, and on top of that, we've been amazingly busy at work from home.

Second off, I want to say, Happy Earth Day! I hope you can get out at some point and pick up some garbage, or enjoy the outdoors in some way that doesn't ruin it. It's all we got, so let's respect and treat it like we want to be around as a species for a long, long, time.

 Today I'm going to talk about my husband only working part-time during the Covid time. I wasn't sure how it was going to go. John and I both have our own way of doing things, so we've had to be better about communicating why and how we want things done. Like, he does most of the dishes (which is one of the best things in my life right now), but apparently it drives him crazy that I put dirty dishes in the other side of the sink (just so you don't think I'm an animal, I put them there and put water in them so they can soak). So, now I will try to only put dirty dishes on the counter to the left side of the sink where John washes the dishes. The things you learn about a person after being together for almost ten years...

Anyway, it's going pretty well so far. For the last two weeks, John was working Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. Starting this week, John will only be working Tuesday and Thursday.

The key to a happy partially employed husband, is to keep him busy on his days off. He is always asking what projects I want done. Well, just let me scroll out this list that should cover most of state of Iowa.

His first project was to attach a bike rack to my car. Since he didn't get a new car after the car accident where the woman ran the red light into his car, we are sharing mine, and so we need a bike rack on it. Consider that job done.

Since I bought the house, I've been meaning to get to the yard on the East side of the house. It doesn't cover a lot of space, and it's mostly big ferns that do well in shade, but increasingly there have been more and more big weeds and scrub/volunteer trees. My plan this year was to grub up all of the trees, rake all the old leaves, dig up most of the ferns, then enclose most of the area in a brick border with weed cloth and red lava rock in it. I would also cut some holes in the weed cloth where I intend to plant every other plant a Hosta or a fern. We'll see how that goes. Last Fall, our friends had some extra pavers they wanted get rid off for free, if we were willing to cart them off ourselves. We're planning to use those for the border, and buying a few more if we need them. Of course, I'll put up after shots when we're done with it all.

I had been chipping away at it the last couple of weekends, by grubbing up trees and roots, but yesterday, John spent almost the whole day raking and getting the trees out of there. He has a couple more tree roots to go, but with him doing so much work, we might actually get it almost all done this weekend. We'll see, though.

The other project he's been working on, is putting pet screen on some of the windows. Since Archie was a kitten, he has made it his mission to rip any screen in our house. He's done one hell of a job too. John had already replaced a few of them with pet screen the last couple of years, but there were some more where we just couldn't open certain windows, since the screens were shredded (thanks again, Archie). John finally got a couple more done last week.

And let me tell you, the cats are thrilled to  have that new window to look out of and smell from. Especially since our neighbor's cats hang out in their screened-in porch that faces this particular window. This could be the best Summer ever for the cats.

I would say that we're dealing with John being home more often and me working from home just fine. I just have to keep a list of projects handy for him, and if  you've seen our house, you know that will not be a problem.

Don't You Ever Feel Like You're a Rider on a Downbound Train

It was really nice out this day, and the window was open, and the cats were ever so happy.

 So, Hey! Guess what? On Saturday I went to the store and not only was there toilet paper, they had dish soap too. Neither was my normal brand, but I haven't seen toilet paper or dish soap for sale at the store in over a month.  A few months ago, I had no idea how exciting this would be. How long after this pandemic is over will we still appreciate something like this?

Also, am I the only one who watches movies where people are in big groups, and shaking hands and hugging others, and I scream in my head, "What are you doing? How irresponsible of you.".

I was laughing the other day that instead of being jealous of your friends who seem to always be posting on Facebook about taking trips to exotic places, now you can judge them for it and feel so much better about yourself. There's always an upside.

In the interest of not drinking WAY too much during this pandemic, I'm working on making Temperance cocktails, or Mocktails. A friend gave me this Seedlip stuff, that is a mixture of different infused spices, to use in place of vodka or whatever your alcohol of choice might be. So far I made a mockscow mule, and a tonic drink with lots of lime and a splash of cranberry, but not vodka. They were both very refreshing. I'm still drinking some alcohol, I just want to make sure that doesn't become a problem during these stressful times. After all, I'm already overeating enough to fulfill anyone's vice quota.

You know how I said John and I were watching at least one zombie movie a week during this pandemic? Well, a friend of ours recommended one called "Train to Busan". It's on Netflix, and it is my new favorite South Korean zombie apocalypse social statement movie ever. It's so stressful, that I told John I might actually have a heart attack before it was over. I'm sure you won't overlook a recommendation like that.

Lastly, this might be the first year that I almost forgot the Iowa City tornado anniversary. I guess all it takes is another tragedy to happen the same time of year, to take your mind off a thing.

Little Darling, It Feels Like Years Since It's Been Clear

Well, Kids, this weekend was so much more wonderful than the last few. That's right, I got to go outside and play for the first time in almost a month. I had that bad head cold for over three weeks, so I was very limited in what I could do.

Of course, I've lost all kinds of fitness, so I was doing everything very slowly, but it felt so good to move and to play outside.

 We were supposed to do a trail running race on Saturday, but it got changed because of Covid-19. It was now called a "run-in-place". You were supposed to run it away from others wherever was closest, and safest for you. We chose to run the route it was supposed to be. We went to Hickory Hill Park in the morning when there weren't many people out and about.

It was a lovely run. Since I hadn't done any exercising in almost a month, we went slowly and had fun with it. That run was just what I needed to get me back on track playing outside.

After we finished that run, we made plans to ride bikes. Again, I wasn't very strong, but the winds were from the North on Saturday, so we rode the hilliest route around us. I didn't ride very fast, and it was fine. It was very windy out. but I let John lead and shield me from the wind.

On Sunday we decided to ride the Lone Tree Loop, that is about 40 miles long. It is much flatter, thank Jeebus, and it wasn't quite as windy. There were a lot more people riding bikes on this route. There were much fewer cars, though. Mostly, we saw motorcycles and fancy old cars that people brought out and were parading around in the lovely weather.

We gave everyone we came in contact with a very wide berth. I felt a million times better after playing outside for two days straight, but MAN, were my legs sore for a couple of days after that.

This weekend looks a little colder with rain predicted for both days, but I'll figure out a way to get out and play. It's so good for my fragile sanity.

And The Earth Died Screaming. While I Lay Dreaming

Today is the day to go over my traveling through books for the month of March, and boy howdee, do we all need a vacation through books these days.

I read seven books for the month of March. One of them was HUGE, and I switched around the order of my books, since at about the middle of the month I wanted to read escapist fiction, or "beach books".

1.) The first book I took a trip through was "The Japanese Lover" by Isabel Allende. It took me to San Francisco mostly, In a retirement community, but then flashbacked to several places. It was a about a younger woman with a lot of scars from her childhood who gets a job at a retirement community right around San Francisco, and meets an old woman there who's story she discovers. It wasn't groundbreaking fiction, but it was a nice little story and a fun vacation.

2.) The second book I traveled with was "4321", by Paul Auster. It was the VERY long book I was telling you about. It started right around WW II and went into the early 70's. It told four different stories of four men all with the same name and parents and family history, but then each boy had different things happen in their lives, to make them all different. The concept was interesting, the writing was good, but at almost 900 pages, I ended up skimming the last part of it. It was too bad, but you know how my attention span is...

3.) My third book trip was "Daisy Jones and the Six", by Taylor Jenkins Reid. I was hoping it would be a fun Summer type book, but it wasn't great. It took place in the 1970's, mostly in the LA area and it was about a band and the two lead singers in it, and their issues. I wish it had more of a feel of the 70's. These people are all being interviewed after the fact, but it would have been nice to be taken back there a little better. It definitely felt like the writer hadn't lived back then and remembered that people that age were all talking in SNL quotes, and wearing their gigantic combs in the backs of their too tight jeans pockets. Mostly, the story wasn't that great, sadly.

4.) My fourth book trip was Sally Rooney's "Normal People". I loved this novel. It took place in Ireland in the 2000's. It was about a relationship between two people from different backgrounds that evolved as they went through high school and college. The woman was from a wealthy family and had an abusive home situation that made her feel like she was a bad person (because her family kept telling her she was), and then she sought out relationships where guys treated her like crap, since she believed her family, and thought she deserved it. Boy, did that feel way too close to home. The freeing thing about reading this book, was that it reminded me of how far I've come. I kept thinking,"why is she putting up with that? Why doesn't she leave him?", but forgetting what it felt like to feel so badly about yourself, that it wouldn't occur to leave in those situations. This book trip was so liberating for me, because it made me look at myself in my twenties, and early thirties, and feel just how far I have come since then. I'm glad I've worked so hard on my shit.

5.) The fifth book I read was "Imago" by Octavia Butler. It was the third book in the trilogy. I love Octavia Butler, but this series wasn't my favorite, and I can't figure out why. I really loved the second book, mostly because it seemed more emotional with more of an actual story and characters I could feel something about. The first book was a lot of set-up, and the third book was the closure. I'm not sure if the third book was hard to read because of what's going on in the world right now, and this post-apocalypse seemed too close, or what. I think I'll have to read it again in happier times to see if that makes a difference.

6.) The sixth book I read was by another Iowa Writer's Workshop alumni, Curtis Sittenfeld. I read "American Wife". It was very loosely based on Laura Bush. It took place mostly in Wisconsin and then at the end, in DC. I really enjoyed it. I thought everything was believable and I was really into the story of it. I basiclly devoured that book in a couple of days.

7.) The last book trip I went on was written by someone who lives in Iowa City. It took me to Minnesota, but right right on the Iowa/Minnesota border. "The Current", by Tim Johnston was a detective/mystery book about two college aged women who's car goes into a creek and falls through the ice in Winter, and about another young woman who died in that same river about 10 years before. It was a sad trip, but also one that kept me up until three in the morning, trying to figure it all out.

So, I had mostly good reading vacations last month, which I'm glad for, because I REALLY needed them. I hope for the same in April. Since I'm stuck at home for the most part, I plan on traveling through my books as a necessity now.

I Want to Thank You Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin

Today I'm going to talk about how lucky I am in all of this crap...And how much luckier I am than I would have been 25 or 40 years ago.

First of all, I don't live with abusive people anymore, or even people who would drive me crazy if I had to see them and only them. I think about children and adults in abusive situations, trapped in a house with their abuser, and every trigger going off to cause that abuse. Shudder. I feel for those people and hope their lives get better very, very soon.

Secondly, I am thankful that I don't live in a big city. Some people who live in high rises can't leave their building without getting on an elevator, and being in a small space with other people. Even if they say we can't leave our yards at some point, I have a screened in porch to hang out in, a garden to work in, and I can walk right out my door without being stuck in a little box with someone who might be contagious.

The third thing I'm thankful for is that I like spending time alone in general and most of my hobbies can be done by myself or with John. Oh, also, I can, and like to cook. Having to distance myself isn't a huge hardship for me, since I live in my own little world most of the time anyway. A lot of people assume that since I'm loud and gregarious when I'm out in public, that I love to be surrounded by other people, and those people are wrong. Being social takes a lot of energy. I love my friends, but I need lots of breaks from people to recuperate, and I love my alone time. I know people who play team sports, or have other very social hobbies, and I feel badly that they can't do the things they love right now.

A friend of mine said there was an article about New Yorkers having stay in place orders and one woman was quoted as saying something like, "It's gonna be like "Little House on the Prairie", where we have to eat leftovers and make our own soup." After seeing that, I thought that I must live in "Little House on the Prairie" world all the time. I like to eat leftovers and make my own soup.

Archie is my kid bothering me while I try to work from home, but I can always shut him in a room and leave him if he's annoying, without DHS becoming actively involved in my life.

Out of the millions of other things I'm thankful for, is that as of right now, I still get to work from home. Even a year ago, we weren't set  up with skype and the technology to take phone calls from home. Now, I can hang out by myself...And with the cats, and do my damn job. Both John and I are getting paid our full paychecks, and we know how rare that is right now.

Also, the last couple of weeks it's been just me at home. I don't have a husband blaring the TV, or kids fighting while I'm trying to help someone over the phone. John said he called someone at work yesterday about an insurance claim and he could hear the woman's kids screaming in the background. Poor woman. fifteen years ago, that would have been me. We think that next week, John will start having some time off from work, and if that's the case, he's really good about keeping earbuds in while he watches Youtube videos of mountain bike races, or cyclocross races, or whatever other kinds of bicycle porn he's into. We will also probably have to give him projects to do, I can't imagine how antsy he'll be with nothing structured to do. So far, though, John and I have been doing pretty well being the only people we see for the most part. There's probably more eye rolling behind each other's backs, and some heavier and more frequent sighing than normal, but I am VERY lucky that I'm with someone I can stand to be around all day without getting stabby. Let's hope all of the good stuff in this post lasts this pandemic out.