Nothing to Hide, Believe What I Say

Here's a picture that Erik took of me with open arms, or maybe I'm just trying to steady myself. You decide.

After yesterday's extremely mature butt post, I thought I'd change things up and talk about relationships. Mainly, my relationships. This weekend, someone told me that it made them a little uncomfortable to read about how strongly I felt about Erik on this here blog. They said they thought that by gushing so hard about how happy I was with Erik, I might kind of jinx our relationship. So, I figured I should just explore some of the things that were brought up in that conversation.

If you've read my blog even for a minute, you won't be surprised that I'm a very open person. Which isn't to say, that I talk about everything with you. As Erik pointed out when we addressed the subject this weekend, there are all kinds of things that you, dear readers, will never, ever know about my relationship with Erik. But, I was raised Southside Chicago Irish Catholic, and we generally aren't known for our stoicism. As I've said on previous posts, it's also very important for me to let people I'm close to know exactly how wonderful I think they are. Ask my daughters. They know without a doubt that I think they are the most amazing creatures I've ever met.

So, if I gush about Erik on my blog, it's way less than I do with him in person. If anything happened to me today, he would never have to wonder how I felt about him. Now, if that can somehow jinx my relationship, then it probably wasn't a very strong one to begin with.

That same friend said he was worried that I'd get hurt by being so openly happy with Erik. But I'm 42 not 22. I've been in several relationships before, that obviously all ended at some point, and I lived to tell about them. I guess I try not to look at break-ups as failures so much. Those other relationships weren't wasted time. I learned a lot from the people I've spent time with - both good and bad. In the few short months I've spent with Erik, I've already gained so much. On some levels, we are very different people, but we seem to fill in each others gaps. So, if things go sour between us, I will definitely be very sad. I really love Erik and I would miss a lot by not being with him. I'm also a strong person, and I've been single for many, many years. I do just fine on my own, thank you. And I hope that Erik and I would still be friends on some level no matter what happened between us.

I guess, what I'm trying to say, is that I can't help being who I am and who I am is an open person, and if I didn't tell people how much I cared for Erik, I can't imagine it would make me any less sad if things didn't work out between us. As Erik said when we first got together and were talking about working on having a healthy relationship, "All we can do is try." And, so I'll continue to be openly happy in my relationship and post all of the things I think are great about him on here. Just like I do with my friends and my family and my daughters. I don't know any other way.