You Never Do What You Know You Oughta

Coadster and Stinky, right after Coadster got her first shiner while she and her sister were jumping on the bed and Stinky's head hit Coadster's face. It was a proud, proud moment for the whole family.

Once the reality of not only having a baby, but a girl baby, sets in, a mother begins to contemplate her child's future - and stress-out hard. She worries about electrical outlets and bleach under the counter. She can see danger in big dogs, teenage drivers and scary, white van driving, child molesters. A mom will remember her own past and lose sleep thinking that someday, her daughter will have her heart broken by some pimply faced, testosterone filled loser who won't deserve her, and then that memory of getting suddenly sidelined by the group of girls, who the mother thought were her friends, rears its ugly head, and she thinks that maybe homeschooling isn't such a bad idea after all.

Last night Coadster came home early from her friend's house in tears. Apparently, there had been some weird drama and then there was an accusation and Coadster was left feeling confused and angry. I tried to find out what all the hub bub was about, and it all seemed ridiculous to me, but I do remember how all that shit was so intense when I was 15 too. Some girl was telling everyone that Coadster told her best guy friend who one of her girlfriends liked. Who cares, right? Coadster said she couldn't have even if she wanted to, because she didn't know who her friend liked.

I graciously offered to line up all those bitchy girls and slap them up Three Stooges style where I take my front hand all the way down the line and then switch to the backhand and get them all again.

"They're not worth hurting your hand over," Coadster said. Then I offered to make her some cinnamon toast and get every pillow and blanket we could find and lie around in my beautiful gigantic new bed, that I like to refer to as my comfort cocoon. I told her we could watch any movie she wanted and I'd rub her back. She was all for it, and fell asleep in less than an hour. Poor thing.

Today, after the dust had settled, and before we went to Coadster's show choir concert, she found out what really happened. It was actually only the one girl who was causing trouble, her other friends didn't even know what was going on. My friend K. calls those kind of girls, shit stirring bitches and I think it's a perfect description for people who cause that kind of drama for attention, or because they want everyone to be as unhappy as they are? I've never understood what causes people to stir up shit that way at someone else's expense.

Anyway, we got through round one last night. I have a feeling we still have several more rounds to go before the girls get old enough not to have to deal with that crap. Is it too late to start homeschooling?